Now we should make one thing clear, straight out of the gate - we’re not about to pronounce the death of the Big Night Out. 

We’re still in love with dancefloors, squishing into booth seating and finding a friend for life in the queue for the bathroom. That being said, we’re also very familiar with the following scene… 

It’s 9pm on a Tuesday. One friend has an anxious eye on live train times while another is making apologies about a morning yoga class. Meanwhile, your head is thumping thanks to the pounding bass inexplicably pumping from the restaurant speakers.

You decide to call it a night and make noises about pencilling a date in again soon, no doubt in over a calendar month’s time when schedules somehow align again in some fortuitous mercury in retrograde situation.

That’s the kind of night out we’re over. Which is why it should come as no big surprise that many of us are starting to reconfigure our socialising in search of more meaningful moments of fun with friends. 

In fact, major bar group honchos have declared ‘3pm the new 9pm’, as many of us start to centre our weekend get-togethers around daytime meets, rather than always waiting for the sun to go down.

“Over the past few decades, women’s attitudes toward friendship have evolved,” says psychologist Dr Ravi Gill by way of explanation. “Add a pandemic into the mix, and we have a mindset shift around how we view our friendships.

“Women increasingly seek meaningful, emotionally supportive friends over surface-level connections.”

More intentional hangouts are becoming the priority, which sometimes requires a shake up of the traditional social framework.

This is certainly the case for Laura, 29, who has felt a shift in the way she views her social life in light of turning the big three-oh.

“My social life was always about ‘more’,” she explains. “More friends meant more nights out, which meant more outlandish stories and what I perceived as more social capital and fulfilment.

“While I still treasure those memories of those nights out as an essential part of my plot development,  I was often burnt out, struggling for money and finding it hard to maintain deep friendships to actually nourish my life.”

Laura found that focusing on the friends who were still there even when she turned down the nights out in favour of recharging her social battery enriched her social life.

“As well as letting the stress of having dozens of people to reply to melt away, it was a clarifying moment for me.

“I could actually invest in the friends closest to me and be there for them, while sharing what was going on with me at a deeper level,” she says.

“I might not go ‘out out’ as much, but I spend whole afternoons with my friends where we laugh more than ever before, dig beneath the small talk, and really get to enjoy each other’s company. For me, it’s been invaluable.”

These shifting priorities mean many of us now get more enrichment from inviting a friend or two over for a Baileys hot coffee than we ever could working the room at a vague social acquaintance’s house party. For others, the 2025 version of fun with friends might be a book club, a morning run club, or a Sunday walk. 

Cleo, 24, agrees. “I’m unapologetic about the fact I’m in bed by 9pm most nights,” she says.

“I’m a creature of habit - I need to do my skincare routine and read a chapter of my book every night. I love the ritual.

“While I might have ignored what my body was craving in the past, I’ve found that listening to my own needs in recent years has also made me a better - and more fun - friend. 

“When I go for a weekend stroll to the local market with my friends or catch a film with them, I’m actually focused and tune in to what they’re telling me, and I’m enjoying myself a whole lot more.” 

Rochelle, 26, has found that rallying her friends and inviting them over to her flat has ended in the most fun. 

“We’ll each bring something to the table, whether that’s a bottle of Baileys (to make everything from decadent coffees to double chocolate brownies) or a DIY bake, and usually end up laughing about terrible dates, the latest way we’ve embarrassed ourselves or whatever show we’re all watching,” she says. 

“We get the best parts of a night out - which, let’s be honest, is always the chat with girls in the bathroom - but from the comfort of our own homes. 

“And this is all usually pre-9pm. I always wondered why I enjoyed pre-drinks the most, and now I’m realising why. 

“A long afternoon is the ideal way to socialise. We can pick our own playlist, actually hear each other and always feel ten times lighter than before we came together.”

It’s clear that for many of us, we’re saving our nights out for occasions when we’ll really enjoy them, while carving out new spaces for more regular and enriching hangs with friends.

We’re building rituals and social lives that align with our lifestyles and needs - and not what we feel we ‘ought’ to be doing to reap the most fun. Connection is the priority, and that can only be a good thing. 

Looking to reframe your relationship with your social life this year? Next time you have your friends over, enjoy a quality catch up over a Baileys Hot Irish Coffee.

Please drink responsibly. Please do not forward this article to anyone under the age of 18.