People often describe me as a duck. Not because I love bread (though I certainly do) or thanks to a quacking quality to my voice, but due to the way I seem so totally calm on the surface… while chaotically paddling below. 

I’m told I have ‘such a calming presence’ and that I’m ‘unfazeable’. But inside my mind is a mess of stress, panic and anxiety.

I’ve always been this way. I’m a classic combination of a perfectionist and a people-pleaser, with a tendency to be far harsher on myself than anyone else. My inner critic is loud. And rude. 

Perhaps unwisely, I’ve chosen a career that has stress baked in – there’s always a deadline or 10, the to-do list never ends and working in the digital space means I spend a lot of time staring at screens and being bombarded by information on the internet.

Over the years I’ve done a lot of important stuff to help tackle my mental health struggles. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and OCD, so I know how vital it is to keep an eye on how I’m feeling. I’m on medication for both and have been in and out of counselling. 

But what I’ve learned is how crucial it is to pair the big actions with smaller, everyday choices to prioritise my mental wellbeing. That means doing my best to leave work on time, having some phone-free hours and consciously carving out space for self-care.

Let’s talk about the self-care element because I’ll be real, for a while I didn’t know what self-care would look like. Despite my duck-like attributes, I am not a fan of a long, hot bath. 

I have a tendency to faint if I soak in heat for too long, which slightly ruins the calming effects. Baths are the go-to recommendation and I can see why. 

In principle they seem great – washing away the day, having a quiet moment where no one can contact you, preventing yourself from doomscrolling by adding the risk of dropping your phone into the water. But in practice… I just can’t do it. 

So, when I came across the concept of an ‘everything shower’, it felt revolutionary. I’m far more of a shower person than a bath person, but I tend to have a speedy wash in the morning.

An ‘everything shower’, in contrast, is not at all like my quick-scrub-and-get-out-of-the-door routine. It’s a shower where you go slow, take your time and do, well, everything.

You treat an everything shower with the same reverence as a bath. It takes place in the evening and every element is supercharged for the ultimate relaxation.

Here’s how I do it. I tell my partner that I’m going to be busy for at least an hour and that he cannot, under any circumstances, bother me during this time. 

I retreat to the bathroom and lock the door. I light some candles in place of switching on the lights. 

Scent is a very important component of this ritual, so I ensure the candles have an aroma in keeping with the relaxation theme. Then I hop in the shower and get the water going. I take my time. There’s no rush. 

I make space to really savour every aspect. I consciously note the warmth on my skin, the soothing sounds of the playlist I’ve set up just for this occasion and then I reach for the shower gel, which has been carefully selected for the mood I’m keen to set on the night.

If I’m in need of a mental refresh (usually when my screentime has upped to an embarrassing degree), it’s method®’s Daily Zen all the way – the cucumber, green tea and seaweed scent is pure spa vibes. 

If I’m planning to go from my shower straight to bed, I’ll go for Wind Down’s ultra-relaxing chamomile and lavender scent. 

Pure Peace, with peony, rose water and pink sea salt, is for when my brain has been bouncing around too many ideas and I need some balance. And when I’m glum and in need of ultimate comfort, the Simply Nourish body wash, with coconut, rice milk and shea butter, is like wrapping myself in a super soft blanket. 

Whichever one I choose, I make sure to load up my loofah and pause to take in some deep breaths of the scent, then do a long exhale. It’s like an instant reset.

After a slow, luxurious scrub, I enjoy the hot water for as long as I fancy. I usually close my eyes and wash my hair, then open them to do some grooming (I need my sight to tweeze my eyebrows) and have some time where I just get to think. 

I find I have my best creative ideas during my everything shower, and am also far more able to work out problems. I think of everything showers as an opportunity for mindfulness and calm. 

I don’t have the patience for meditation, but once I’m in the shower I’m finally able to let my mind wander.

Finally, it’s time to get out, wrap myself in a warmed towel and layer myself in a nourishing body lotion before getting straight into my pyjamas and slipping into bed. 

Whereas it usually takes a good half hour of thinking about all my past mistakes before I drift off, on everything shower nights, I’m conked out immediately. The dream.

I now do an everything shower at least once a week (usually on a Sunday, to firmly ward off any hint of Sunday scaries or on a Friday night to wash off the work week) and consider it an essential technique in my mental health toolkit. 

Obviously, a shower alone can’t fix all stress and mental illness – and to anyone else struggling with their mindset I urge you to speak to a medical professional and ensure the rest of your life is set up with your wellbeing in mind. 

But since starting my everything shower routine, I now have a go-to method for preventing total stress meltdowns. I’d recommend it to absolutely everyone.

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