Whether you’re teetotal, cutting back or even just refusing the odd round, sticking to your drinks boundaries at work events can present a big challenge.

Unfortunately, people can put pressure on you to imbibe, whether they really mean to or not. And that goes double during the festive season, when drinking is at a nationwide high.

Psychiatrist Dr David McLaughlan, a visiting consultant at Priory Hospital Roehampton and expert in workplace wellbeing, says we should all have personal booze boundaries, especially in the face of this external pressure — which is sadly not uncommon.

“Lots of people unconsciously put pressure on others to mirror their own drinking behaviour because it validates their own use of alcohol and enhances their sense of social cohesion,” he says. “For example, a heavy drinker with less confidence might feel self-conscious about topping up their own wine glass without also topping up everyone else, or ordering another drink at the bar without also encouraging others to have another round with them.”

When you’re around the people you work with, there can also be a complicated power dynamic at play. 

Dr McLaughlan says: “Most of us like to please people around us, but this pressure to bend our boundaries can be more intense if we feel like our status in the office, promotions or Christmas bonus is at stake.”

The good news is that when it comes to enforcing boundaries and having what Dr McLaughlan refers to as “drink refusal skills”, practice makes perfect. 

Yes, you can always just be direct. But if you find that challenging, there are four personas Dr McLaughlan suggests channelling to make your Christmas alcohol refusals go down a little easier.

“In my clinic at the Priory Hospital, we teach drink refusal skills for these kinds of situations to help us maintain our drink boundaries,” he explains. “You’re much more likely to maintain your drink boundaries if you practise these skills and have a few stock responses up your sleeve.”

The Joker

“Distract and diffuse the situation with a light-hearted or silly joke,” says Dr McLaughlan. He suggests trying lines like:

‘No more wine for me. After the week I’ve had, I need to preserve the last two brain cells I have left.’

‘I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.’

‘My dancing is bad enough without beer, thanks!’

The Little White Liar

“Because sometimes you don’t have the energy for anything else,” says Dr McLaughlan. You could say:

‘I’m on antibiotics, even one drink will make me sick, unfortunately.’

‘I’ve got to drive later.’

‘I’ve got work when I get home.’

The Educator

“If you want to put a positive spin on things, you could share the health benefits you’ve noticed when you drink less,” suggests Dr McLaughlan. Practise saying:

‘When I don’t drink alcohol, I actually sleep better.’

‘My skin has cleared up so much since quitting drinking.’

The Diplomat

“Using reasoning can be helpful when people are being a bit pushy and don’t accept your first refusal,” explains Dr McLaughlan. Try saying:

‘It’s OK for us to drink in different ways, right?’

‘I’ll join you for a drink next time, just not tonight.’

‘Let me have a glass of water first and I’ll see how I feel later.’

But we also can’t stress this enough: you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you’re choosing to cut back or cut booze out entirely. It’s all about what makes the situation easier for you.

“It’s perfectly OK to smile, say ‘no thanks’ and then take yourself over to another conversation or the dancefloor with your soda water and lime,” says Dr McLaughlan.

If you’re not sure where to start setting some booze boundaries in the first place, he suggests asking yourself the following questions:

• How much do I want to drink?
• When do I want to drink?
• Where do I want to drink?
• With whom do I want to drink?
• Why do I want to drink?

Having an honest answer to these simple questions will help you figure out what you — not your colleagues, not your boss, not even your friends or family — really want from your parties.

Images: Getty