You’ve booked a holiday. Watched hundreds of #TravelTok videos on your destination to discover all the coolest spots. Planned the perfect capsule wardrobe and matching manicure. Daydreamed about the kind of carefree and effortlessly chic person you’ll be once you get there. Then you arrive and things go… flat. 

Perhaps your flight was delayed or the hotel you’ve selected has seen better days. Maybe you have a bad meal or it feels too crowded or the scenery doesn’t quite match what you’d pictured on Instagram. That’s when the sadness starts and you’re left feeling a bit deflated when you should be having the time of your life.

While it might sound like the ultimate first-world problem, travel disappointment is also very real. After all, once we’ve invested a lot of time, money and energy into planning and taking a trip, it’s only natural to feel frustrated if it doesn’t live up to our expectations.

“We often put high expectations on travel because few of us have the time and money to take much time away, meaning that time we get to explore a new place feels precious and important,” explains Dr Sophie Mort, a clinical psychologist and UK mental health expert at Headspace.

“Because we treat it as time we must make the most of before we get back into the grind of life, we assume that the moment we arrive on holiday, we will suddenly be sunny ourselves, upbeat, relaxed and raring to go. However, the reality is that it takes most of us longer to relax into a trip than we realise, and exhaustion, stresses and strains tend to catch up with us when we take a break, rather than evaporate into thin air.”

“To escape our sometimes boring or tiring realities, holidays are used as a catch-all bandaid,” agrees life coach Mhairi Todd. “Because we’re used to saying things like, ‘Once I’m back from holiday I’ll feel better,’ a huge amount of pressure can be placed on this short period of time to right all ills or provide enough of a reprieve that we come back able to face whatever we were running from in the first place.”

Todd explains that there are certain occasions in life where we expect or are expected to be deliriously happy – such as birthdays, weddings and holidays – so it can be a bit disorienting when you find yourself grumpy and frustrated on the beach in Bali.

But it isn’t just about how we feel on holiday. Social media also sets an often unattainable and unrealistic precedent for trips filled with luxury experiences, unbelievable views and only the trendiest hotspots.

“Many of us escape from our busy lives into a fantasy of work and adventure, so we scroll endlessly on social media looking at the blue skies and white beaches,” continues Dr Mort. “We look at the edited highlight reels of influencer trips and imagine that will be us. The expectations are therefore set for the picture-perfect trip where everything goes smoothly: not one where we’re ravaged by mosquitos, get patchy sunburn or have to wait in a queue for the tickets to see whatever tourist attraction is considered a ‘must see’.” 

In an ideal world, Mort suggests trying to manage your hopes before you even step on the plane. “Get mindful of your expectations of the upcoming trip,” she says. “Have you put the pressure on? Are you willing yourself to be ‘on’ and ‘happy’ the instant you arrive at your destination?”

Once you’re on holiday, the key is to acknowledge how you feel and use mindfulness to observe the emotions, thoughts and feelings you are having, and let them go.

“Accept that very few things in life are perfect and that it’s OK,” continues Mort. “You may get to the beach and it will be too hot or too busy, and this doesn’t have to mean your holiday is ruined. You may not get to hit every spot you planned to see while away, but this doesn’t have to make your holiday a failure.”

“Something that’s always reassuring to remember is that joy isn’t mutually exclusive,” adds Todd. “You can be disappointed with the hotel or destination and still have a brilliant time. You can be stressed out and pissed off and still have wonderful, enriching experiences that you’ll remember for a lifetime.”

Images: Getty