It’s no secret that a healthy sense of accomplishment in life is crucial to our happiness and wellbeing, and this can take on many forms. Perhaps you’ve crossed the finish line of a gruelling marathon after months of training. Or you’ve finally snagged that long-deserved promotion or pay rise at work. Maybe you’ve taken up a hobby and made new friends as a result.

It’s natural to hope that our loved ones will be by our sides, toasting our wins and celebrating our accomplishments with us. When it comes to our romantic partners, this feeling is amplified; there’s an expectation that not only should they be in our corner but they should be our biggest cheerleaders. Unsurprisingly, research shows that if we are in a relationship, having a supportive partner who will push us to do better is hugely beneficial in the long run.

A study by Carnegie Mellon University found that people with encouraging partners (indicated by expressing enthusiasm about opportunities and offering reassurance) were more likely to take on potentially rewarding challenges and, as a result, experienced more personal growth, happiness, psychological wellbeing and better functioning relationships. And while the expectation is that we should all strive for a partner who allows us to grow and become the best version of ourselves in all areas, this isn’t always the case.

“I worry my partner secretly wants me to fail. Can we move past this dynamic?”