Credit: Getty
5 min read
The ‘last summer’ is about making memories before everything changes.
As a woman, you never really know when the last summer is really your ‘last’.
Before you start to have an existential panic, we don’t mean in a morbid fate sense. Instead, we’re talking about that last summer of uninhibited fun, questionable decisions and uncontrollable laughter with your best female friends.
There is nothing quite like the summer before your friends ‘settle down’ with romantic partners. Friendships may not fall apart, but when love interests complicate the equation, connections change and evolve. Together you will always be, but other plans eventually take precedence over a wild harvest of girls-only nights out.
It’s for this reason that women are prioritising this summer as a chapter of lasts – just in case it all changes in the blink of an eye.
Oh my god, what if this is our last single girl summer together… and what if we treated it as such?
The term ‘the last summer’ has been making the rounds on TikTok, with women sharing their interpretation of the experience and what it means. User @leah_bergy told her followers that it was for “single girls only”.
“It really should be applied during the summer time for your own safety,” she explained. “The concept was born a few summers ago when my friend and I were both single at the same time going into summer and we looked at each other and thought ‘oh my god, what if this is our last single girl summer together and what if we treated it as such?’”
She continued: “The joke is that we’ve had many last summers since then, but you never know when it is actually going to be your last single summer with your girlfriends. If you opt into a last summer you have to be careful. You will start doing things that you wouldn’t usually in the name of #thelastsummer. But applying this concept has resulted in some of the most fun summer days I have ever had.”
At first listen, this may sound terrifying. Dodgy decisions made in the heat of mad moments usually end in regret and turmoil, but the concept doesn’t have to be be exactly that. For some, alcohol and late nights will be integral to the experience, but for others, it can be any activity of choice where your best female friends are at the heart.
Because this period – the one where you can be truly selfish and free – won’t last forever. And according to the experts, practicing a ‘last summer’ is not only only good for your friendships, but your wellbeing, too.
Credit: Getty
Senior therapist Sally Baker says focusing on a friendship summer will create strong and unbreakable bonds with the women in your life. “It is a meaningful way to mark and acknowledge those bonds between young single women and all their shared experiences,” she tells Stylist. “Secondly, acknowledging and creating shared experiences creates a sense of belonging and support, which is particularly important for young women as they navigate their life challenges.
“Then into the future and as life changes, reminiscing provides a touch stone of how far you and your friends have come, and all you have experienced. Finally, engaging in activities with girlfriends allows you to develop a broader understanding of the world and where you fit as a person within it.”
At its heart, the last summer is about girlhood. It’s about learning, making mistakes and growing into women together. As has been said time and time again, Sally notes female friendships are some of the most important and defining relationships you will ever have.
“They play a crucial role in the emotional, social, and psychological development of young women,” she explains. “These friendships provide a safe space to explore and express emotions, thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or ridicule. They offer opportunities for young women to learn important social skills, such as communication, empathy and conflict resolution.
“They foster a sense of belonging and connectedness, which contributes to positive self-image and overall well-being and they offer support, encouragement, and guidance during significant life transitions and experiences. Embarking on a last summer will only strengthen all of these elements.”
There is a sense of urgency that comes with the idea of the last summer, especially if you are a female in your mid to late twenties. Things change quickly and without warning. Pregnancy tests are positive and rings are put on fingers. Instead of booking wild holidays of backpacking and bar-crawling, your annual leave is suddenly taken up by a trip to the Cotswolds for yet another a wedding.
Life moves ever so fast, and the heady days of youth start slipping through your fingers. So, how do you deal with changes, especially to friendships?
“As young women progress through life, the dynamics of their friendship groups can change for various reasons, such as relocation, personal growth, or new relationships,” Baker notes. “Thankfully, there are also some other mechanisms to help you cope too.”
“Begin by trying to understand that change is a natural part of life and friendships. Embrace the growth and development of yourself and your friends. Maintain open and honest communication about your feelings and concerns regarding the changing dynamics. Be willing to adapt to new situations and embrace new friendships. This may involve being open to forming connections with new people or adjusting the way you interact with your current friends. Take the time to reflect on your own personal growth and development and most importantly, make an effort to stay in touch with your friends, even if life is changing rapidly. Regularly reach out, plan activities, and maintain your shared interests.”
Finally, Baker urges that a ‘last summer’ activity – whether it be a holiday, a night out, or a summer spent making memories – will help you cope with transitions. “Doing something like this and making a big deal of it, will reinforce relationships,” she says. “I think these experiences can help create strategies to deal with the shifts in the long run.”
There you have it. Go forth and make the summer one to remember. Squeeze every last drop of those glorious days with just your best girls. Because you never know when your summer of freedom and fun will be the last.
Image: Getty
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