In the aftermath of a breakup, it’s only natural that emotions are running high. You might be in shock or feeling heartbroken – maybe you even accept that separating was the right thing to do – but it’s a complicated time, with plenty of mixed feelings and hurdles to navigate. And while the initial post-break-up period is an emotional minefield, the next stage is arguably even harder.

Even if you know that you’re ready to start moving on, the impact of what other people might think can be incredibly swaying. Is it too soon? Will you look heartless and uncaring? Can any kind of ‘rebound’ be taken seriously?

“When it comes to moving on after a long-term relationship ends, there can be some serious social pressures around timing, because people love to have opinions on what’s ‘too soon’ to start dating again,” agrees Dr Aliyah Moore, a certified sex therapist and relationship expert.

“There is a prevailing belief that if someone moves on too quickly after a breakup, they are emotionally unavailable or insensitive to their previous partner’s feelings, so it’s understandable that this stigma can lead individuals to feel judged or misunderstood by their peers and lead them to delay their pursuit of new relationships,” she tells Stylist.

It’s true: after a relationship ends, it’s typical to encounter a lot of comments and unsolicited advice about your ex (“I never liked them anyway”) or when you should ‘get back out there’ (“Go out and show them what they’re missing”). While it can often be well-intentioned and tempting to listen to, the key to recovering from any kind of separation is taking things at your own pace.

As Moore says, there’s no magic timeline that fits everyone, but there are some signs that show you’re getting there. Healing after the end of a significant relationship takes time, and it’s essential to allow yourself the space to feel and process the emotions that come with it, which often involves acknowledging and working through a range of feelings, such as grief, anger and sadness. For instance, if you find yourself experiencing waves of grief or feeling overwhelmed by sadness when reminiscing about the past relationship, it may indicate that you need more time to heal.

Yes and no, because moving on means different things to each of us. For one individual it could be removing a wedding ring or reverting back to a pre-marital name, but for others, it could be going back out on dates or becoming sexually intimate with someone else for the first time.

Whatever your personal parameters, the best approach is to make it about you and let go of any external expectations. You might not feel shame or grief: it might be a relief or feel like recovery instead. The key is to listen to your own feelings and emotional readiness.

Re-entering the dating scene after a long-term relationship can feel daunting, especially if the dating landscape looks dramatically different. However, a breakup can often help you decide, with time, what you do and don’t want from a future relationship, so you can use this to your advantage and get clear on exactly what you’re looking for.

“There’s no definitive checklist to determine when you’re ready to move on, but there are signs that suggest you’re heading in the right direction,” explains Laura Cannon, founder and head matchmaker at Twelve Stories. “For example, you might find that you’re beginning to enjoy your own company, establishing a life that is satisfying far outside of a relationship context or maybe you’re able to reflect on your previous relationship without overwhelming pain, longing or bitterness.”

“The most important thing before you decide to date again is ensuring you have taken the time to heal,” adds Michelle Begy, founder of Ignite Dating. “Don’t be afraid to give yourself the time needed to recover. This includes not pressuring yourself to put a timeline on recovery and re-entering the dating world, as it’s really about your mindset and how you feel.”

After all, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to moving on after a breakup; only you can decide when you are truly ready and what feels right for you.

But if there is one thing to remember, it’s that each person’s timeline is unique, as are the emotions they go through.

“I cannot stress enough how individual the process of recovery after a breakup is,” adds Begy. “It’s crucial not to rush yourself or let others rush you. Embrace the journey, and remember that being single can be epic. Design the world you want, then find people who share that vision.”

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