Credit: Getty
Relationships
Hard launching: is going ultra-public with your new relationship the new dating trend for 2022?
By Amy Beecham
3 years ago
2 min read
Dating in 2022 is no longer about being coy and reserved. As Ye and Julia Fox are proving, it’s the year for going ultra-public with love.
The first few months of a new relationship are arguably some of the best. There’s a joy in getting to know another person for the first time, delving deeper with each meeting.
Then, as things progress, comes the eternal dilemma: when is it too early to announce your new relationship to the world?
Back in the day, meeting (and impressing) your significant other’s parents was something you toiled over. Now, in our digital-first culture, there’s a lot more attention paid to both the social media or public launch of a new beau.
In recent years, so-called “soft launching” has been the go-to trend across our Instagram feeds. It involved drip-feeding small and unidentifiable details of your new partner ahead of a full reveal later down the line – a dinner for two here, half an arm or one shoe there.
Instead, what we’re seeing is the rise of the “hard launch”: very public displays of affection during earlier stages of a partnership.
The pandemic and two years of lockdowns have changed the way we date. Bumble found that more than half of the people using the app reported that they are now more upfront with dates about what they want. We’re playing hard-ball about what we’re looking for and what we expect, so it seems only natural that we’d end up less secretive about who we’re with.
The trend of going ultra-public has been paved by rapper Ye (formerly known as Kanye West) and his girlfriend, the actor Julia Fox. From magazine interviews detailing their whirlwind romance to full-blown couples photoshoots, the pair, who allegedly met on New Year’s Eve, have provided a masterclass in what it means to jump right in at the deep end when sharing a relationship with the world.
“When a relationship is blossoming, it is tempting to want to shout the news out to everyone and share your delight and excitement of having met someone special. In reality, there is no right or wrong way of approaching this,” Dr Madeleine Mason Roantree, a psychologist and dating coach at The Vida Consultancy, tells Stylist.
Regardless of the perceived sincerity of their relationship, props have to be given for two people wearing their hearts so unabashedly on their sleeves.
“People have different personalities and the more extroverted and excitable they are, the more likely they will “hard launch” their relationship,” explains Dr Roantree. “Some people place a high value on the online response they get from their posts, and in some cases a large part of their identity is tied up in their online presence, making it natural for them to share more than most people.”
And indeed, it almost feels like a return to the days of changing our Facebook relationship status, and the buzz of watching the congratulatory comments and likes roll in.
Publicly introducing a partner early on in a relationship was something that used to be considered ballsy, or at times inappropriate. Taking a new boyfriend or girlfriend to a wedding or family event was considered a risk.
But hard launching feels in large like a product of the pandemic. Our priorities have shifted and after spending two years of our lives in limbo, we’re doing everything full-throttle. Couples are already spending less time getting to know one another and the initial dating period is moving along at faster speeds.
Credit: Getty
While this is exciting and the whirlwind romance, particularly of the celebrity kind, is absolutely nothing new, do we have to approach this newfound all-in attitude with caution?
“The first question that comes to mind is why is it important for you to share the news about a blossoming relationship? Why do other people need to know? Sometimes it’s about declaring to the world that you are no longer available, other times it’s about sharing your excitement with others. If the former, perhaps wait until the relationship is solid with a clear indication of its committed nature. If the latter, think about whether you are feeding off the attention you might get from sharing the news,” says Dr Roantree.
“On the other hand, many people are apprehensive to announce their new relationship, partly because they are still enjoying getting to know their new partner, partly they want to ensure that it is authentic and that the commitment feels real and partly their personality might be a bit more reserved,” she continues.
It’s true that making an early relationship public, online or in real life, places a large amount of pressure on it to succeed, but also for the individuals involved to be on the exact same page about where they’re going. Not only do we want to keep those early special moments to ourselves, in many cases we don’t want to jump the gun and ultimately be left with the soul-destroying task of removing their digital and physical traces from our lives.
While she recognises the appeal of the hard launch, Dr Roantree stresses the importance of privacy and space in early relationships.
“Both allow deeper feelings to grow,” she says. “It’s not the spark that makes a relationship, it’s not an indication of relational longevity. The initial exciting stages of dating might feel ecstatic and intoxicating, but it’s not what carries a relationship forward.
“Other things are required, such as trust, emotional bond and commitment during difficult times. It takes time to develop and demonstrate those things. Showcasing the relationship early, on social media or otherwise, may interfere with this development, especially if the posts aim to gain external validation. Having said that, a small group of people are happy to live their lives in the public eye, and there is nothing wrong with that.”
Images: Getty
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