When it comes to talking about things such as money, relationships, politics, family matters or health, we all have our own boundaries around what we feel comfortable sharing with others. You should never feel pressured to share more or less than you want to; however, if your sharing style is repeatedly creating issues in your relationships, Jha says it could be beneficial to think about how to share more (or less).

It’s one thing to have differing levels of willingness to share with your colleagues, family members or acquaintances, but when close friends find themselves at opposite ends of this spectrum, it can feel tricky to navigate at times.

“Feelings of rejection can arise on both ends of this friendship,” says Jha. “An oversharer may feel like their friend isn’t sharing because they don’t trust them enough or that the relationship lacks depth. On the other hand, the undersharer may feel forced to share more than they’re comfortable with or feel overwhelmed by the intensity of the relationship.”

The good news is that friendships between oversharers and undersharers can absolutely exist – it just takes some understanding on both sides.

If you’re feeling rejected or untrusted by an undersharing friend, Jha recommends considering all the other ways your friend shows you they love you – remembering your favourite coffee order or listening to your 10-minute voice notes, for example.

“Take note of which topics feel more comfortable for both of you and which ones your friend engages with more and be vigilant to acknowledge and protect the things they do share,” adds Jha. “And always remember to show that you can respect their boundaries by not pushing them on areas they’re obviously less comfortable with.”

For undersharing friends, Jha advises asking thoughtful follow-up questions so your friend knows their sharing isn’t annoying or too much. “If you’d like to share more with your friend, practise sharing small, low-risk details and see how you feel,” says Jha. “But you can also find shared activities that don’t feel overwhelming so you can connect without it feeling overly personal, for example, discussing a book you’re both reading, setting a goal to run a 5k together or taking a class together.”

The bottom line is, as long as neither party feels pressured to be someone they’re not, and there’s acceptance on both sides, there’s no reason over- and undersharers can’t have a meaningful and close friendship.

Can oversharers and undersharers ever have meaningful friendships?