The humble meme holds a special place in my heart and in my friendships at the moment. It’s no secret that 2023 has kicked everyone’s ass. No one is thriving. Just as we’re adjusting to the mental and financial impact of the post-pandemic spike in socialising, along comes a cost of living crisis.

Yet, there’s comfort in our collective trauma, which my friends and I communicate through memes. One particularly thoughtful pal has sent me at least two a day for the past few months, as I navigated a dark time while she was miles away in Barcelona.

Without fail, she’ll DM me Feel Good Club’s Sunday evening reminders, alongside some darkly comic cartoons that she’s discovered in the depths of Instagram. Thanks to her, I’ve chuckled (and sometimes cried) every day through my ‘depression Barbie’ era. It’s a small and beautiful act of kindness that means more than she’ll ever know.

Obviously, we’re not the first friends to bond over our shared twenty-something anxieties and disappointments. Whole accounts are dedicated to this specific genre of meme, such as My Therapist Says, Get Cliterate and I Am Thirty AF.

’Même’ in French literally translates to ‘same’ in English, which captures the vibe behind these widespread pieces of information on the internet. Saint Hoax, Instagram’s very own meme correspondent (hired specifically for the Met Gala, no less), described them as “editorial cartoons for the internet age.” In short, it’s the visual validation we need that lets us know that, deep down, we all feel the same.  

Meme exchange has become a norm in most friendship groups: it’s a quick, free and accessible way to brighten someone’s day or remind them you’re in their thoughts. 

Adult life is busy, and sadly not a sitcom, so your closest pals are probably spread across the country, and it’s not always feasible to pop by in person or send another gift (as, yes, we’re having that many breakdowns).

Though the five love languages are used in romantic relationships to help couples understand each other’s needs, they also relate to friendships. Physical touch, gifts, words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service are all ways of showing up for the people you love.

Relationships counsellor Louise Tyler explains how memes can offer digital hugs to our closest friends when they need it most. She said: “Sending memes to friends comes under what we therapists call ‘warm fuzzies’.

“These are small gestures between people, that say, ‘I see you; you mean something to me.’ In the past, these gestures could be compliments or small thoughtful gifts, but nowadays sending a text message or meme has the same effect.

“It’s about small moments of vital human connection that come with a shot of oxytocin, the bonding or ‘love hormone’.” 

Connection is, after all, more important than offering advice, as friends aren’t therapists and might not share the same lived experience. In Sex And The City when Carrie needs breakup advice (and wants to avoid therapy), Samantha tells her: “Look, we’re as fucked up as you are. It’s like the blind leading the blind.”

Friends don’t have all the answers; that’s not why we go to them. Instead, what our go-to girls can offer is a self-deprecating meme (and relatable anecdote) that captures a snapshot of the wild rollercoaster of adult life.

Tyler adds: “Memes go one step further in offering an additional shot of humour, often much needed on our current difficult world, but they also create an additional feeling of bonding that says, ‘I know we’ll both find this funny.’”

In a disconnected, digital age, where comparison and loneliness are rife, a meme is a thoughtful reminder that you are known and not alone in your struggles. 

Feel Good Club is designed with this need in mind. If you can’t find the words to support a friend, you can always tag them in a post that captures what you want to say. 

Co-founders Aimie and Kiera Lawlor-Skillen explain: “In a world where so many negatives can be drawn from social media, it’s so important to keep your feed positive and uplifting. Our aim is to spread love, normalise talking about mental health and steer clear of toxic positivity – when people find it difficult to communicate their feelings we hope that our page can help them gain perspective and give space for people to tag their friends and spread that message and love to them too.”

Next time, you want to show up for your friend, slide into their DMs with a meme to show them, as Tyler says, “I see you; you mean something to me.”

Images: Getty