Credit: Getty
2 min read
In her teenage years, journalist Emmie Harrison-West was a social butterfly, but friendships have dwindled as she’s got older. What if that’s no bad thing?
There was a time when I was popular. Well, among the outcasts at least. Looking back, I would describe myself as the skinny jean-clad glue that held my group of pre-teen emos and goths together.
When I was in high school, I had lots of friends – so much so that their parents would describe our home as a youth hostel whenever they visited. Back then, this was a part of my identity; I thought having plenty of friends was essential to my life, my wellbeing and my self-esteem. I thought what adults said about people ‘drifting apart’ as they got older was rubbish. That it was their fault for letting friendships flicker out – but I was wrong.
Now, as I approach 30, I can count on one hand how many close friends I have – and one of those is my husband. I have fewer friends than ever, and honestly, I couldn’t be happier, which isn’t entirely unusual according to Rebecca Lockwood, a positive psychology coach. “Friendships can dwindle and change throughout our lives because we’re going through different things at different stages,” says Lockwood. “The people we were once close to may not understand or be able to resonate with the things we’re currently experiencing.”
It’s true that I’ve had different types of friends for different stages of my life. Ones to fulfil my wants and needs at the time. At school, it was the people who felt rejected by the flock for what they wore or where they came from. We had our firsts together, and it was special. A few remain some of my best friends, even now.
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