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Family and Friends
Taylor Swift celebrating Selena Gomez’s new single is the epitome of hype friend behaviour
2 years ago
4 min read
A hype friend is someone who loves to see you succeed and has your back during difficult times. Here, we look at why it’s so important to have a personal cheerleader in your life.
The first rule of friendship, surely, is to deliver kind and considered gestures of love and support via whichever methodologies suit the context of your friendship. The role of a hype friend, however, is purely and simply to be your friend’s biggest fan.
A hype friend will celebrate your successes as though celebrating their own – someone who’ll sing your praises in a room full of opportunities, and who’ll have your back when times get tough. Someone like Taylor Swift.
“When your bestie is the bestest,” the singer wrote on an Instagram story alongside a video snippet of best friend Selena Gomez’s new song Single Soon. “Will be dancing to this forever methinks.” The story, shared with 271 million followers and enthusiastically endorsing Gomez’s latest project, is the epitome of hype friend behaviour.
How do you identify a hype friend within your own circle? Georgina Sturmer, a counsellor and member of the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP), suggests paying attention to your communication habits. “Which friend do you call when you want to celebrate some good news – a promotion, an opportunity, something exciting? It’s likely to be your hype friend.”
A hype friend, Sturmer says, is truly on your team – they believe in you and they’re reliable, authentic and supportive. You know they’ll never respond to your successes with jealousy or bitterness. “They will support you in private and hold you accountable, and they will also champion you in public. They are realistic about your abilities, but they are also optimistic about what you are capable of.” Ultimately, she says, a hype friend wants you to be happy and healthy, regardless of what’s going on in their own lives.
What makes a good hype friend, however, is one who is emotionally intelligent and a good communicator. “A good hype friend is emotionally attuned – not just to your needs but also to the context within which you operate,” says Bayu Prihandito, a life coach specialising in mental health, relationships and personal development, and the founder of coaching service Life Architekture. “They offer a balanced mix of affirmation and constructive feedback, and they’re present not only when you’re winning but also for your setbacks and mistakes. Their support comes from a deep understanding of who you are and what you’re aiming to achieve.”
A hype friend can serve as a catalyst for personal growth
Beyond feeling supported, hype friends have the ability to positively influence our behaviours and quality of life. “A hype friend can serve as a catalyst for your personal growth and self-improvement,” says Prihandito. “Their presence can significantly amplify your self-esteem, which, in turn, can lead to better mental health, reduced stress levels, and a more proactive approach to your life’s challenges. You’re more likely to take risks and seize opportunities when you know someone has your back, no matter what.”
Simply knowing you have a personal cheerleader and hype friend on hand – even if you don’t get to see or interact with them frequently – can do wonders for your confidence, says Sturmer. “It can drive us to believe in ourselves and our abilities, and help to drown out the sound of negative self-talk and criticism. A hype friend also helps us to connect with our sense of what we deserve – in the workplace and in our home lives.”
While a hype friend always wants to see you succeed in getting what you want, they have your best interests at heart. The key difference between a hype friend and an enabler, according to Prihandito, is accountability. “A hype friend will celebrate your achievements but also hold you accountable for your actions – they won’t be afraid to share constructive criticism when needed,” he says. “An enabler, however, will offer unconditional support without considering the long-term implications, potentially leading you down a path that may not be in your best interest.”
So, how can you be a better hype friend to your friends? Prihandito says it all starts with cultivating emotional intelligence: “This involves active listening, empathy and the ability to gauge when to offer support versus when to challenge.”
Secondly, he says, it’s crucial to be informed about your friend’s goals and aspirations. “This enables you to offer the right support that aligns with their own life path. Lastly, maintain a balance between positivity and realism. Your role is to encourage, but not to create a false sense of security.”
Image: Getty
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