According to YouGov’s friendship study, 41% of Britons say they have two or three close friends, 21% have four or five and 16% say they have more than six. So, I feel incredibly lucky to be part of a close-knit group of seven best friends. We have all known each other since we were about six, and considering we’re all now firmly into our mid-20s, it’s quite an impressive feat, even if I say so myself. From playground squabbles to first loves, losses and everything in between, we’ve been through a lot together and have always been determined not to let life get in the way of our friendship. 

Of course, that is easier said than done, and there have been times when we’ve drifted apart. Throughout university, we met up considerably less, rarely gathering as a whole group as we were busy building new lives and friendships. But nothing inherently changed between us, and it felt like no time had passed when we all eventually got together again. Everything felt a bit more separate, perhaps, much like it did following the pandemic and then graduation.

Although we all previously lived within 15 minutes of each other, only two of us remain in our home city, and we’re now dotted across the UK and beyond. We meet when we can, but one thing that’s been an absolute game changer for maintaining our long-distance friendship is our ‘Wednesday waffle’. 

After stumbling across this Australian TikToker discussing his ‘Wednesday waffle’, I instantly knew it was something my friends would love. Every Wednesday, we send a mini vlog updating everyone on the last week of our lives, including a peak and trough of the week. Some days, we might have more to say than others, and watching at 1.5x speed is often required. One friend – you know who you are – spent a grand total of 474 minutes waffling in 2024, not including the extra videos and voice notes responding to other people’s waffles.

While there’s no pressure to do it every week, it has become a welcome and regular part of our weekly routine. Dr Catherine Wikholm, a chartered clinical psychologist, says: “As humans, we have a psychological need for social connection and a sense of belonging. While we can certainly find this within romantic relationships and family relationships, friendships – especially long-lasting ones – constitute an important social bond. Research shows that having strong, supportive friendships is a protective factor when it comes to mental health.”

This scientific study, which investigated friendship trajectories and health across lifespans, found that increasing positive friend relations predicted better health outcomes 23 years later. It also found that gender was associated with friendship quality, with women reporting more positive friend relations over time.

Dr Rathika Marsh, founder of The Spiritual Psychologist and the Academy of Healing, agrees: “Connection is fundamental to how we function and thrive as adults. We are not meant to live life in isolation. Truly being witnessed and seen by people in our authenticity gives us a sense of deep belonging and connection.” Although it might sound dramatic, a Wednesday waffle does allow us to feel truly seen. Whether we are discussing a traumatic life event or what we had for lunch, a Wednesday waffle is just about as authentic as it gets. 

“On a practical level, increased responsibilities in terms of work, family life and caregiving – for children and/or ageing parents – can take up a significant amount of our time, energy and emotional resources, meaning that it is common for friendships to – often unintentionally – become less of a priority,” says Dr Wikholm. She adds: “Many people find that they just don’t have the same capacity in terms of both time and emotional availability to nurture friendships in the way that they could when they were younger and had fewer responsibilities.”

Our Wednesday waffle has been an important way to tackle this. It accounts for the fact that everybody will have ups and downs, so if one week you don’t have the emotional capacity to respond to the waffles of others, there’s no judgment. It’s OK to send a 10-minute rant and then say you’ll be back next week. But you are always in the loop and constantly connected, even if you don’t feel like responding or saying anything on any given week. 

Although I recommend it, a Wednesday waffle isn’t the only way to help maintain long-distance friendships. If you’re unable to meet in person, Dr Marsh suggests thinking outside the box and organising things like virtual cooking sessions, watching sunsets together from different locations and creating collaborative friendship playlists.

“Staying connected with long-distance friends can require effort, but the payoff is often very much worth it. A good strategy is to schedule regular catch-ups with your friends so that it becomes part of your regular routine, not something that you try to squeeze in last minute,” adds Dr Wikholm. For example, scheduling a weekly or monthly phone or video call.

Equally, she says sharing life updates – even briefly via text – shouldn’t be underestimated as a way of staying connected. She adds that remembering to celebrate milestones like birthdays “demonstrates care” and can contribute to a sense of being “held in mind by others, even when you are far away”.

As Dr Marsh says: “Lifelong friendships that survive distance aren’t just rare, they are true treasures. Nurture them deliberately, celebrate them often and recognise their true value.”

I plan to do just that, one Wednesday waffle at a time.

Images: Getty; Hannah Bradfield