Friendships: what it’s like to make friends on social media

Jessica Bruno

Credit: Jessica Bruno

Family and Friends


Friendships: what it’s like to make friends on social media

By Leah Sinclair

4 years ago

2 min read

Making friends as an adult can be difficult for some  but for these women, sliding into the DMs proved to be a worthy method to starting friendships which are continuing to grow today.

Making friends as an adult can sometimes be a lot harder than we think.

The carefree abandon and ease that came with making friends during childhood no longer exist and is replaced with various complexities as we debate whether to reach out to certain people, how we’ll be received and where the relationship will go.

This constant overthinking can often block us from developing fruitful friendships with others – but there is a growing trend among women who are “shooting their shot” on social media and creating new friendships in the DMs.

The term ‘shooting your shot’ is often reserved for those who slide into the DMs in a bid to start a conversation with someone they’re attracted to. 

But the term is no longer reserved for just that with ’friendship shots’ being the platonic version that more and more women are embracing and overcoming their own insecurities in order to build these relationships.

“I’ve always wanted to be more outgoing but definitely would be in my head to reach out to someone for the most part,” says Shantell Rousseau.

Rousseau, who moved to London three years ago, found herself in a new city with not many friends, which she says forced her to be more “intentional” with what she wanted.

Friendship has always meant a lot to me but how to acquire it if school/workplace is not an option, was new territory for me.”

This desire to find a circle of friends in a new city led Rousseau to venture into the world of social media and apps.

A profile can only give you so much info. An initial chit chat will give you more but like any connection, meeting in person will tell you enough to move forward

“I used a lot of Instagram and Bumble BFF because it was the easiest and least resistant way! Just like dating, there are so many people at your disposal online and you have nothing to lose by meeting someone for a quick coffee and conversation,” she says. “Bumble BFF helped facilitate a lot of that for me and made it incredibly easy.”

Taking that leap into the online friendship space led Rousseau to develop a few close friendships which remain today.

“I can pinpoint several incredibly impactful friendships that I’ve made online. One that definitely stands out is my good friend Marian,” recalls Rousseau.

“We ‘matched’ on Bumble BFF and Marian messaged me first, but what drew me to her profile was that she was local, into trying new things, loved wine and coffee and in my same age range.”

“In all honesty, a profile can only give you so much info. An initial chit chat will give you more but like any connection, meeting in person will tell you enough to move forward (or not).”

Shantel Rousseau and Marian Levey

Credit: Shantel Rousseau

Rousseau says that beyond having things in common, both she and Marian are on the same page about how they value and see their friendship, which they’ve not only managed to maintain but has also flourished since they first met.

“In so many ways we’re completely different but we pretty much hit it off from the beginning. We make our friendship a priority and regular connection is important to us both, even with hectic work schedules and other commitments.”

Having a clear understanding of their friendship is also key for Jessica Bruno and her BFF and colleague Dayana Nikolova.

Bruno, who works in events and marketing, and Nikolova’s friendship began in 2020 after Bruno slid in her Instagram DMs. 

“During the first lockdown, I was focusing on my fitness and following a routine by personal trainer Ciara London on Instagram – who was not only killing it on IG, but her digital marketing presence was really impressing me,” she says.

“After about a month, Ciara needed a website to support her and this is where I met Dayana, who is the CEO of digital marketing agency FOME.

“This was my chance and I plucked up the courage to slide into Dayana’s DMs and tell her how impressed I was with her company. I think I re-wrote the message a few times before sending it, carefully checking if it seems like a ‘cool’ intro and not spammy,” she shares.

“And then DING – I got a DM back, and there began our friendship.”

Jessica Bruno and Dayana Nikolova

Credit: Jessica Bruno

Bruno says it was from then that they sparked an instant connection and their friendship grew, sharing each other’s posts on Instagram stories to exchanging funny memes and gifs via DM.

“I then booked a call with her to talk about a website for myself (I needed one to find more clients) and on the call, we clicked. Dayana then suggested that she might have some work for me as she was looking for some support.

“I started doing some freelancing here and there for her and that evolved into Dayana and I taking on a big client which then turned into me heading up the content marketing team at FOME.”

Sliding into Bruno’s DMs turned into a fruitful friendship and business relationship with her now working as head of marketing at FOME and the duo coming out with a podcast in February.

“She’s like a sister to me now, all thanks to sliding into her DMs.

“Dayana and I have spoken every day for about two years now, not only do we work well together – but it honestly feels like we’ve known each other for years and years – we just get each other.”

Image: Jessica Bruno and Shantel Rousseau

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