This is what led to us implementing the ‘3x3 rule’. The idea behind it is that each person in a relationship gets three hours a week to themselves to do whatever they choose and three hours a week to spend time together, either on a date or doing an activity. It might not sound spontaneous or particularly romantic, but implementing a rule to make sure we both regularly have time away from the kids separately – and together – has really helped our relationship.

When our babies were small, the rule was more for my benefit. My husband was still going to work every day and attending social events. He felt less constricted by family life. He knew how much I needed three hours a week just for myself and would actively encourage me to book dinners with friends or go out to exercise classes. Doing this once a week didn’t take much juggling or planning as a couple, but the benefits to my mental health were huge as I found looking after the twins very lonely. It’s why, even though our twins are now five and our older son is eight, we still continue the rule.

Three hours might not sound like much time – and I’m not proud of the fact that I can waste whole hours doomscrolling – but, when you know you have a dedicated slot each week to do something you enjoy, it can really help you to deal with everything life throws at you. Not only is it something to plan and look forward to, but it also makes me nicer to my husband and a more patient mum. I also think it’s really important that our boys see their parents with separate social lives and hobbies.

“This is the one simple rule that kept my marriage alive through new motherhood”