Credit: Getty
Relationships
Why “don’t take it so personally” is the ultimate gaslighting insult – according to psychology experts
By Anna Brech
3 years ago
2 min read
The phrase “don’t take it so personally” might sound innocent enough, and is often used with the best of intentions, but it’s also used by gaslighters as a classic way of asserting control and spreading self-doubt in relationships.
Whether it’s a partner during an argument or your mum simply trying to help, the phrase “don’t take it so personally” is bandied about an awful lot in life.
In some cases, we can all be guilty of overreacting – no-one likes perceived criticism, after all, especially not highly sensitive people. It’s hard not to be defensive. But it’s also worth bearing in mind that this is a classic tactic that gaslighters reach for in their mission to control.
Gaslighting – a form of emotional abuse by which someone seeks to make their victim question their own reality and sanity – can be frustratingly hard to spot.
Sign up for the latest news and must-read features from Stylist, so you don’t miss out on the conversation.
By signing up you agree to occasionally receive offers and promotions from Stylist. Newsletters may contain online ads and content funded by carefully selected partners. Don’t worry, we’ll never share or sell your data. You can opt-out at any time. For more information read Stylist’s Privacy Policy
Thank you!
You’re now subscribed to all our newsletters. You can manage your subscriptions at any time from an email or from a MyStylist account.