5. Set clear boundaries

Keep emotions and practical matters separate as much as possible. This means knowing when to focus on legal aspects and when to deal with emotional healing.

“It’s really important to set clear boundaries during the divorce process. You need to separate your emotions from the legal and financial aspects as much as possible. There’s a time for dealing with the emotional healing, and then there’s a time to focus on the practicalities. Mixing the two can lead to poor decisions. By keeping those boundaries, you can avoid letting your emotions cloud your judgment when it comes to legal matters.”

6. Seek support beyond legal counsel

Legal advice is important, but women should also invest in emotional and practical support, such as a divorce doula or therapist, to help navigate the emotional and spiritual aspects of the transition.

“Legal advice is crucial, but divorce is more than just a legal transaction. I encourage women to seek out other forms of support, whether it’s a divorce coach, a therapist or a divorce doula. Having that support system in place can make the difference between feeling overwhelmed and being able to navigate the transition with clarity and strength.”

7. Get clarity on your ‘why’

Understand why you’re making certain decisions. This clarity will guide you through tough choices and prevent you from being swayed by outside opinions.

“One of the things I always tell women is to be very clear on why they’re making the decisions they’re making, whether it’s related to custody, financial matters or even how they approach the overall process. If you’re clear on your motivations, it becomes easier to stand firm when others try to sway you or when you’re overwhelmed by emotion. Your ‘why’ will guide you through the tough moments and keep you focused on the bigger picture.”

8. For the kids? Centre yourself

The final piece of advice Hussain gives is specifically for women who are going through a divorce with children. Contrary to some advice that suggests you should ‘stay together for the kids’, Hussain’s advice is to centre yourself and your desires. If that looks like leaving a marriage then you are leading by example. Your children will thank you when their time comes around in future relationships that aren’t working out – they have been given permission, by proxy, to choose themselves and leave.

“When women centre themselves, focusing on what they truly desire and what aligns with them, they begin to see a ripple effect across all areas of their lives. If you don’t centre yourself, it can manifest as resentment, and that can impact your relationships in negative ways. Living by example is key. The legacy you’re passing on to your children isn’t just about your choices, but the narrative you’re creating around self-worth and relationships. They will often unconsciously repeat those patterns in their own lives. So, when you put yourself first, you’re giving your children permission to do the same, and that ripple effect can be transformational for generations.”

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Images: Farhana Hussain

“I’m a divorce doula, and these are the 8 things all women should know before getting divorced”