The season of rooftop terraces and park days may be on its way out but if you’re like me, the group chats are still constantly filled with voice notes about the latest first date endeavours, romcom-worthy engagements and couple holidays. Dating in the summer can sometimes feel like a sport with the buzz of running around lavish bars and dinner dates becoming slightly overwhelming.

And then there’s also trying to figure out if you have feelings for that person or if you’re simply riding the high of grand gestures and the early-stage excitement. All in all, dating can leave us feeling tired and confused. And that’s where ‘vanilla dating’ comes in.

This new dating trend is all about taking a different approach to dating by embracing the slow and the mundane, instead of constantly seeking out excitement and a diary packed with travel and adventures. And it isn’t as boring as it may sound either.

Tina Wilson, founder of dating app Wingman, tells Stylist that vanilla dating revolves around the idea that finding love “doesn’t always have to be filled with grand gestures or extravagant experiences”.

Instead, it focuses on shared routines and the comfort of familiar surroundings, such as nights in, long walks and cooking together. “It’s a relationship based on simplicity and finding happiness in ordinary daily things,” Wilson adds.

She also sees this trend as a “middle finger to a world now played out on social media that heavily glorifies and celebrates lavishness and the extraordinary”. It serves as a reminder that sometimes the “most fulfilling and contented relationships can be found in everyday experiences, and you don’t need to prove anyone otherwise”.

Focusing on the mundane sounds like a much needed breather but Wilson warns there are downsides to vanilla dating, particularly in early-stage relationships and during the summer season.

“Vanilla dating at this time of year is the stage before cuffing season – where online daters could be testing their compatibility with someone over the course of a few months by embracing ordinary and mundane tasks and experiences to essentially ‘test the waters’ in an unofficial ‘cuffing season planning phase’.”

Over a quarter of Wingman’s online users say they are actively using this approach to assess compatibility during the summer and their new partner doesn’t necessarily know about it. But the problem with using vanilla dating in this way is that if the relationship doesn’t work out, you could end up feeling isolated or left out of a former friend group.

And so, Wilson says communication and honesty with your date or partner are key so that you’re both on the same page when it comes to your intentions.

Wilson also warns that vanilla dating can dip into the ‘playing it safe’ territory.

“Although there are several positives to enjoying each other’s company in a vanilla dating scenario, there is a chance that one of you in the relationship is just going along with things because you don’t want to be single. Whether this is deliberate or unintentional, you’re doing it because you’re in a safe territory with vanilla dating.”

Ultimately, figuring out your dating goals is key for vanilla dating as “you might be doing it for the wrong reasons or fall victim to cuffing season planning” advises Wilson.

Images: Getty