There’s no ‘easy’ way to build a successful relationship. From setting healthy boundaries to knowing how to deal with disagreements, there are plenty of factors that play into whether or not a relationship will work out in the long run.

But once a relationship has gone on for a few years, it’s all too easy to lose track of how important these aspects of a partnership can be. In fact, as long as things are going *relatively* well, many of us wouldn’t sit down and think about what could be improved.

However, according to new research, taking that time to reflect could play an important part in a relationship’s longevity. The study, published by researchers at Wright State University, found that “romantic relationships may require regular health maintenance, to arrest and reverse an otherwise natural vulnerability to health decline over time”. 

Of course, the type of ‘health maintenance’ used in the study was a little more complicated than a simple chat. In fact, the study saw couples sit down with a clinician for a relationship ‘check up’, who ensured they did not shy away from ‘minor issues’ they might otherwise brush over. After completing these sessions, the couples were given techniques to deal with the concerns they identified during their sessions.

It’s worth noting that the study was based on married military couples (because of the unique pressures they face), so some of the measurements, such as the strengths and weaknesses used to measure the health of each couple’s relationship, were tailored towards this group. 

However, the majority of the measurements the team used to conduct their check-ups – such as how both partners respond to bids for attention, how a couple shows each other compassion, how well they communicate and how safe they feel being vulnerable in front of each other – could work with any kind of relationship.  

And what the study did show is that these relationship check-ups do work. Those who took part in the study experienced a positive boost in their relationship health, while the control group who did not take part in the study experienced a decline in their relationship health, most likely due to the “natural vulnerability” the researchers identified.

With this in mind, then, while the study may not provide exact instructions of how to carry out a relationship check-up at home, there are plenty of lessons we can take from it. 

For example, you could use some of the measurements identified by the study’s authors to have a discussion at home with your partner. You could also use them to think about your role in the relationship and what you’re getting in return. 

Indeed, as Professor Susan Krauss Whitbourne put it in Psychology Today: “Questionnaires alone can’t stem the downward trend of a relationship on the deterioration course. However, those frequent check-ins can help you and your partner figure out when it’s time to seek help.  

“There can be benefits of just taking the time to answer questions similar to those used in [this] study, or even just accounting for your relationship strengths and concerns.”

Similarly to how ‘checking in’ with ourselves can improve mental health, checking in on your relationship could help you to keep things moving in the right direction. Just make sure you’re both willing to confront any ‘minor issues’ you’re having, even if it leads to an uncomfortable discussion.

Images: Getty