Updated on 3 March 2020: So Sophie Turner is still “pregnant“, apparently. All you have to do is type her name into Google and you’ll be met with hundreds of stories, all of which promise to spill the tea on Turner and Joe Jonas’ baby news. 

The most baffling headlines so far? Well, they all revolve around photos of Turner carrying her pet dog, Porky Basquiat. Because, in 2020, that’s apparently all the proof we need that a woman is having a baby.

“Pregnant Sophie Turner covers baby bump with puppy while out with Joe Jonas,” insisted one celebrity gossip site.

“Sophie Turner hides pregnant stomach by cuddling up to pet dog on outing with husband Joe Jonas,” screeched another tabloid.

And still one more insisted: “Sophie Turner uses her dog to mask her stomach while out with husband Joe Jonas amid pregnancy rumors.”

The only problem with all of this (other than the fact that, y’know, there’s more to a woman than the contents of her womb) is that neither Turner nor Jonas themselves have confirmed the pregnancy news. US Weekly has, sure. So have a handful of other celebrity news sites. But all of their reportage is based on dubious sources and the fact that the couple have been photographed shopping near a rack of baby clothes. With heavy emphasis on the ‘near’.

As reported on 13 February 2020: The pregnancy story first made ripples after Turner shared a photo of her and Jonas cuddled up together on her Instagram. 

“Happiness begins with you, bub,” she captioned the image sweetly.

It could have been a loving nickname for her husband, of course, but fans much preferred the idea that “bub” referred to an unborn baby. And, from then onwards, despite neither Turner nor Jonas saying anything to confirm the reports, congratulatory messages began spilling in from all over the globe (’Jophie’ have a lot of fans, which translates to a lot of well-wishes).

All of this is… well, it’s fine, I guess. It’s nice to be nice, even if you are leaping to the wildest of wild conclusions. But there was one comment in particular which caught our attention.

“So …. I read in a German magazine that you and Joe Jonas are expecting?!” it read. “If it’s true I wish you both nothing but happiness.”

This message perfectly sums up the big issue here: that so many news outlets are reporting these pregnancy rumours as fact. And do you know what’s worse? To bolster their very thin news articles on the subject, journalists are having to seek out and speak to “inside sources” (aka Turner and Jonas’ friends, families, colleagues and staff) to get the scoop they need.

“The couple is keeping things very hush hush but their friends and family are super excited for them,” one such source shared with JustJared, who was first to report the news. Another so-called insider added, “Sophie has decidedly been choosing outfits to wear on and off the carpet to accommodate her changing body.”

Elsewhere, E! Online, self-professed oracle of celebrity news, decided to get in on the action by insisting that multiple sources have confirmed the news to them. Although, we hasten to add, none of these sources were speaking officially on behalf of Jonas or Turner.

I get it, I really do. The world is full of bad news at the moment, and a celebrity baby announcement feels like the perfect antidote to all of those Brexit and Coronavirus reports. And yet…

If the Turner and Jonas baby news is false

You guessed it: once again, the media has fed into that age-old toxic narrative (you know, the one that says a woman’s primary goal in life is to breed? That one) and encouraging us to scrutinise women’s bodies for any sign of change. 

As Jennifer Aniston – who has been the subject of countless “IS SHE OR ISN’T SHE PREGNANT?” articles – once famously noted: “The sheer amount of resources being spent by press trying to simply uncover whether or not [a celebrity is] pregnant (for the bajillionth time… but who’s counting) points to the perpetuation of this notion that women are somehow incomplete, unsuccessful, or unhappy if they’re not married with children…

“We are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let’s make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let’s make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don’t need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own ‘happily ever after’ for ourselves.”

Amen, sister.

If the Turner and Jonas baby news is true

Well, then it poses an even bigger question: why couldn’t the world wait for the couple to announce the news themselves, in their own bloody time? Because, let’s face it, nobody’s going to win a Pulitzer for this entirely unnecessary exposé.

I’m repeating myself here, but there are so many reasons someone may be reluctant to confirm their pregnancy, particularly if they’re a woman in the spotlight. So here’s a friendly reminder to everyone reading this: unless you can see the baby making its way out of the womb, please never assume that a woman is pregnant. Ever. It doesn’t matter if she says she feels nauseous in the mornings, or she is wearing a baggy empire-waisted outfit, or she is avoiding alcohol. It especially doesn’t matter if her belly has popped so far that you have to back up 10 steps so that she can turn around.

Why? Because it is absolutely none of your business, unless she decides to make it your business. So please wait for her to confirm her news, in her own time, and in her own way. Thanks.

Images: Getty