The Wrecking Ball star has given the iconic Christmas song a major update for 2018.
2018 has seen some of the world’s most iconic Christmas songs declared to be unsuitable for our post-MeToo world. Indeed, the song Baby It’s Cold Outside – which has been released by the likes of Frank Loesser, Dolly Parton, Rod Stewart, Tom Jones, Catatonia, Michael Buble, Idina Menzel and the Glee cast over the years – has been banned by some radio stations due to its seemingly blurred lines on consent.
Now, during a recent appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Miley Cyrus has decided to give one such festive song a feminist makeover.
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On Thursday 20 December, the singer took the stage with Fallon and Mark Ronson to perform the 1953 Christmas hit Santa Baby – although she warned them upfront that she wouldn’t be sticking to the original lyrics.
“I think I might need to change a few of these lyrics,” she said. “Am I saying I’m gonna hook up with Santa if he buys me all this stuff?”
Assured she had full creative freedom, Cyrus then ditched the traditional format of the song – which sees the singer flirtatiously ask Santa for a series of increasingly expensive gifts, including a convertible, a duplex and the deed to a platinum mine – and swapped it for something… well, something very different.
“Santa baby, I don’t need any fancy jewellery, not me,” sang Cyrus. “I’ve got something else in mind Santa baby, and I don’t need your presents tonight.”
The singer – who has a net worth of $160 million – went on to remind Santa that she “can buy my own damn stuff,” and has a “baller car of my own” that she bought on her own (“with zero help from Elf on the Shelf”). So what does she want the man in red to bring her this year?
Peace on earth to all women, of course – and an end to sexual harassment in the workplace.
“Listen Santa to what I say,” sang Cyrus, pointing out that “a girl’s best friend is equal pay.”
Then, ordering St Nick to “stop interrupting me when I talk”, Cyrus went on to tell him that she’d “love to know my ass won’t get grabbed at work by some ignorant jerk.”
“Tell the dirtbags to put away their chimneys tonight.”
We think this is a rewrite we can definitely get on board with, actually. Anyone fancy a sing-along?
You can find the full lyrics to Miley Cyrus’ Santa Baby below:
Santa, baby, I hear you’ve got some presents
For me, Miley
I’ve been an awfully good girl,
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Santa, baby, I don’t fancy any fancy jewellery, not me
I’ve got something else in mind
Santa baby, and I don’t need your presents tonight
Don’t want diamonds, cash or stocks
Nothing that comes in a box
No more fluff, I’ve had enough
And I can buy my own damn stuff
Santa baby, I’ve got a baller car of my own,
No loans,
And I bought it myself
Santa baby, with zero help from Elf on the Shelf
Listen Santa to what I say
A girl’s best friend is equal pay
Stop interrupting me when i talk
And don’t text me pictures of your…
Santa baby, I’d love to know my ass won’t get grabbed
At work
By some ignorant jerk
Tell the dirtbags, to put away their chimneys tonight
Sorry, Santa
Just put away your chimney tonight!
Just put away your chimney tonight!
Image: Getty
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