Credit: getty
8 min read
Settle back and enjoy these words of wisdom from Emma Willis, Kristen Bell, Rihanna, Tom Hanks, Michelle Obama and more.
There are some celebrity couples who we can’t help but idolise for their long-lasting relationships and their honesty about how they make it work. From thanking each other in award speeches, to sharing silly videos online or posting about their latest project and beaming with pride, there’s no shortage in lessons in love or ‘green flag’ behaviour.
When we were growing up, many of us learned about love from the sugar-coated world of Disney. But, as it turns out, nailing that happy-ever-after ending is a lot harder than Cinderella made it seem.
Real relationships take a lot more work than a magical meet-cute and true love’s kiss – and it can be even harder when you’re in the public eye, so intense is the scrutiny you face as a couple. It makes sense, then, that those celebrities who make it work know a lot about love. And so, when they start dishing their hard-earned words of wisdom on the subject, we absolutely sit up and listen.
With that thought in mind, here are some of our favourite celebrity couples advice on long-lasting love. Enjoy…
Emma Willis: “Don’t give up on love if it feels worth fighting for”
“The hardest lesson I’ve had to learn about love over the years is to never give up” Willis told Stylist when asked about the secret to a successful long-term relationship.
“It would’ve been easy at times to give up on Matt and walk away when he was really struggling. But if you can see they’re making an effort to work on themselves and the relationship, and your gut tells you that it’s something worth fighting for, then you should do that. And we both did, thankfully.”
Rihanna: “Make time for one another”
When discussing her relationship with A$AP Rocky, Rihanna said: “It was like, ‘I need to make time for this.’ Just like I nurture my businesses, I need to nurture this as well.”
Rihanna went on to explain that, in order to ensure she prioritises her relationship, she schedules personal days on her calendar so she has time to focus on it.
“I’ll shut things down for two days, three days at a time,” she revealed. “On my calendar we now have the infamous ‘P,’ which means personal days. This is a new thing.”
Tom Hanks: “Take on the bad times together”
“You just clear the decks and you circle the wagons and you hunker down. It’s not that hard to do,” Hanks said, explaining how he and wife Rita Wilson faced her cancer diagnosis together.
“It’s like when there’s a big rainstorm outside, you bust out the hot cocoa and make sure everyone is comfortable.”
Goldie Hawn: “Don’t be afraid to argue”
“You have to learn how to work your way through an argument and be skilful about it and resolve it,” Hawn said, when asked how she and Kurt Russell make their relationship work.
“Things happen during a marriage or a union, things that are said that shouldn’t have been said, or things that are done that shouldn’t have been done, or you feel neglected.”
Michelle Obama: “Relationships are about compromise”
“In this age of ‘We want everything now, we want everything quick’, when life is everything but that, we have to understand that marriage is never 50/50” says Michelle about her marriage to Barack Obama. “I have found that if you stick with it – over the course of your entire relationship you may have 50/50 over time. But if I look over my marriage, if I were to judge it in year five or year 10, there was never 50/50.
“And so, yeah, there were times when I felt like I was 70% in and he was doing 30%, because of the choices that I made in the terms of how I wanted our family to look.”
While there will be “periods of hard” in relationships, Michelle said that compromise is a natural part of growth and love.
Emily Blunt: “Support each other”
John Krasinski and emily Blunt are each other’s biggest fans. Before they were even together, John Krasinski admits to having watched Emily Blunt in The Devil Wears Prada around 75 times!
When filming The Quiet Place together John Krasinski spoke about working with his wife, “The air changes in the room when she starts doing what she does. It’s so honest and so pure and so powerful. It’s like a superpower that she can just unlock and do so specifically with not many attempts.”
Sarah Michelle Gellar: “Get ready to put the work in”
Cultivating a relationship in a society obsessed with instant gratification, novelty and distraction is a challenge. But, as Gellar has explained, relationships don’t flourish by yielding to temptation.
“We live in a very disposable society and people don’t want to have to work,” she said. “They want immediate reactions, they want immediate responses.
“It takes work to have a good friendship,” she continued. “You have to call and check in and dedicate that time, and most people aren’t willing to put that work in. So to have a successful relationship, whether it’s marriage, whether it’s friendship, whether it’s business, you have to put the time, if you want to see the results.”
Beyoncé: “Maintain your independence”
“I was independent before I met my husband, and we have such a natural chemistry and a genuine relationship, and it’s based on the things that relationships are supposed to be based on,” Beyoncé told GQ.
“I’ve seen, growing up, when a woman or a man in a relationship, it doesn’t matter which one, doesn’t feel confident, they feel a bit trapped. Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.”
Kristen Bell: “Remember, it’s never easy”
“Long-term love is uncomfortable, but worth it,” Bell said, reminding her fans to “try hard” when it comes to their relationships.
“Also be vulnerable. No one does it right, so forgive and then be vulnerable again.”
Chrissy Teigen: “Enjoy some time apart”
“Travel away from each other a lot: that helps,” Teigen once said, when asked about her happy marriage to John Legend. “We’re not together 365. It’s nice to be able to really be like, ‘Oh my gosh, I miss you. I miss you so much.’ That works for both of us.”
Blake Lively: “Be friends first, lovers second”
Of her husband Ryan Reynolds, Lively has said: “In other relationships, if something came up I would call my girlfriends or my sister, and say, ‘Hey, this is what he did – what should I do?’ Whereas with him, we were friends for two years before we were ever dating. And I treat him like my girlfriend.”
Which, yes, boils down to simply being friends. But the Gossip Girl star went on to explain that this doesn’t just mean trotting out the whole “Oh, my partner is my best friend as well as my lover” thing, but actually treating him like one and opening up to him as she does with her besties – letting him know how she’s feeling, what made her feel that way and why.
“I’m like, ‘Hey, this happened. It upset me. This is how I feel. What do I do?’” The process works because she says Reynolds – whom Lively married in 2012 – follows her example. “He does the same for me,” she says. “He treats me like his best buddy.”
Viola Davis: "You are the love of your life"
She said: “You know what? This is what I would say and I tell this to my daughter.
“You are the love of your life, and I think that when you start with yourself, loving yourself, creating boundaries, advocating for yourself, being honest with yourself, not being so good, that you’re not being honest - especially as a woman - then I think everything grows from there.
“It is the greatest seed you can plant in the world to create great friendships and relationships, is to love yourself.”
Victoria Beckham: "We're really good partners"
Victoria and David Beckham have been couple inspiration for us since they tied the knot in 1999. Only last month, David was spotted whisking his wife out of her 50th birthday party in London on his back at the end of the night to save her broken foot the final journey.
Victoria said that the secret to her 23-year marriage was having “so much respect” for each other and their partnership: “David is an incredible dad, and husband, and he’s very supportive of my work. We are really good partners.”
Eva Mendes: Be their biggest fan
Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling are notoriously private about their relationship and family life with their two daughters.
Yet, the duo are always finding ways to show their support and affection for the other in sweet, subtle ways. Mendes posted a string of photos in support of Gosling’s leading role in the Barbie film on social media, from wearing a top with Gosling as Ken on to calling out the haters when he was nominated for an Oscar.
Meanwhile, Gosling wore an ‘E’ necklace on the red carpet while promoting the film in the classic Barbie font, and was spotted wearing a t-shirt with the title of her new book in The Fall Guy press tour.
When responding to comments on one of her posts about her long-term partner’s work, she said: “I’m his number one fan, clearly! But it’s so much more than his talents.” In another post, she added in the caption: “So beyond proud to be this Ken’s Barbie.”
Melissa McCarthy: "Marry your weird best friend"
Melissa McCarthy and her husband Ben Falcone love to share hilarious videos of each other online, dressing up in coordinated outfits, wigs and even recording videos asking to be in blockbuster Marvel films.
In the past, McCarthy shared the “real key to happiness” in her relationship on Instagram, next to a video of the duo dressed up in silly outfits. She wrote: “The real key(s) to happiness: Step one - marry your weird best friend. Step two - always, and I mean always, have a plethora of wigs in your home.”
Images: Getty
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