Jennifer Garner has spoken out for the first time since splitting from her husband of 10 years, Ben Affleck.

The actress, 43, gave a candid interview to Vanity Fair in which she defended her ex. “He's the love of my life. What am I going to do about that? He's the most brilliant person in any room, the most charismatic, the most generous. He's just a complicated guy. I always say, 'When his sun shines on you, you feel it.' But when the sun is shining elsewhere, it's cold. He can cast quite a shadow."

“I didn't marry the big fat movie star; I married him,” she added. “And I would go back and remake that decision. I ran down the beach to him, and I would again. You can't have these three babies and so much of what we had.”

Garner also hinted that she was well aware of Affleck’s alleged infidelities while they were still married.

“People have pain—they do regrettable things, they feel shame, and shame equals pain. No one needs to hate him for me. I don’t hate him. Certainly we don’t have to beat the guy up. Don’t worry—my eyes were wide open during the marriage.”

The actress arrived at this weekend’s Oscars alone but she still lives with Affleck and has been spotted with him and their children (Violet, 10, Seraphina, seven and Sam, four) regularly since their break-up, including most recently this week. 

“We still have to help each other get through this. He's still the only person who really knows the truth about things. And I'm still the only person that knows some of his truths,” Garner added.

Ben Affleck’s relationship with the couple’s nanny Christine Ouzounian came under scrutiny during the couple’s break-up and Garner touched on this in her interview. "We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny," she said. "She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation. Bad judgment? Yes. It's not great for your kids for [a nanny] to disappear from their lives."

She revealed this led to her sitting down and talking to her children about the situation: “I have had to have conversations about the meaning of ‘scandal.’ ” 

It seems that all her attention is now on getting her kids through this difficult time. “The main thing is these kids—and we’re completely in line with what we hope for them. Sure, I lost the dream of dancing with my husband at my daughter’s wedding. But you should see their faces when he walks through the door. And if you see your kids love someone so purely and wholly, then you’re going to be friends with that person.”