What is the meaning of life?

For me, it’s laughing with friends and family, forgiving yourself often, doing a job you are passionate about and being happy.

What is the difference between right and wrong?

That you don’t hurt people.

Where is your happy place?

Watching ghost documentaries in my pyjamas while eating a McDonald’s quarter pounder, two double cheeseburgers, a Big Mac, large fries, cheesy bites and a full-fat Coke.

Nature or nurture?

I love being outside in nature, especially by the water – if I could, I would come back as a tadpole so that I could just swim around all the time and have zero responsibility.

Is it more important to be liked or respected?

It’s more important to be liked. You want people to turn up at your funeral when you die. I don’t think anyone respects me anyway, my husband still comes into the bathroom when I’m having a bath to do a dump and my daughter just laughs at me when I tell her off for bog-washing her Care Bear.

If you could be remembered for one thing what would it be?

That I was kind.

Who or what is your greatest love?

My daughter Pip and Stephen King. And Christian Slater in the film Heathers, but no later than that… he hasn’t aged well.

When did you last lie?

I last lied to my daughter, telling her there was no more washing-up liquid for her to play with, but I actually just threw it away because she was throwing it everywhere.

Does the supernatural exist?

Absolutely. When I was in hospital, I recorded a ghost. My fave YouTube channel is Huff Paranormal, which is about a guy who talks to ghosts like he’s talking to his neighbours.

Are you fatalistic?

No, I’m always optimistic.

What is your greatest fear?

Being on stage and knowing that I’m going to fuck it up. I’m terrible at learning lines.

Animals or babies?

It used to be animals but since I’ve had my daughter, I’m nuts for cute bubbas.

What talent do you yearn for?

I’d love to be an artist. My mum is so talented and she used to design her own greetings cards. I’m crap at drawing though.

Do you like to be complimented?

Compliments make me really uncomfortable unless they are about my daughter. I’m so bloody proud of her, she is a little firecracker that one.

Do you have a high pain threshold?

No, I’m terrible. Labour was the worst pain I’ve ever been in. You basically very nearly die, but afterwards you’re somehow still alive.

What book do you recommend most to others?

Flowers In The Attic by VC Andrews. It’s just so weird, dark and nuts.

Which lesson has been the hardest to learn?

Being a mum has been so hard, you just never know what you’re doing at any time and are constantly improvising.

What food sums up happiness?

Chinatown dim sum. My favourite restaurant is actually called London Chinatown and… it’s in London Chinatown. That place is the only reason I like going to London.

What have you never understood?

Pythagoras’s theorem.

What is the one thing you want to know before you die?

If Tupac is still alive and living in Cuba. I’m pretty certain he is.

Are you scared of dying or what happens when you die?

Not at all. The worst that can happen is that there’s nothing, and if that’s true then I won’t know about it anyway – I’ll be worm food.

Quinoa or Quavers?

Quavers all the way.

This Is This Country by Kerry and Kurtan Mucklowe (£16.99, Trapeze) is out 3 October. 

Images: Getty