Season four of Sex Education has landed and it’s a beautiful, brilliant final outing for the sex-crazed students. As always, among the rich themes and relatable moments from a hormone-fuelled teen existence, there are important lessons about sex, identity and relationships. One element that the Netflix smash hit has absolutely nailed (all puns intended) is normalising female masturbation. 

In the first episode, Aimee (Aimee Lou Wood) is reintroduced mid-solo session in her cute floral pyjama set before she climaxes and whips out a lengthy purple vibrator from under the covers. Her chaotic room is littered with dildos and vibrators of all sizes, along with books about sex, boobs and female pleasure, all strewn across the floor. You name it, she’s got it.

Post-orgasm, she opens her diary, and with a signature pink fluffy pen scores it: “3.5, had better.” Sigh. 

This moment of female sexual exploration is not an anomaly in the show, but it captures the radical presentation of female pleasure. Sure, it’s 2023, but sadly, masturbation remains an extremely taboo topic for women. 

Earlier this year, Flo Health found that 21% of women still feel that masturbation is shameful and wrong, even though it is a regular part of many women’s lives. It’s been proven to reduce period cramps, improve sleep and release stress and tension.

Yet, in real life, it’s rare for a woman to be accepting of their sex drive (without shame), let alone explore it in such an adventurous, overt way as Aimee. For many, toys are hidden in a top drawer, under a few non-descript items, so that no unsuspecting person would find them. God forbid, right? 

However, this behaviour only perpetuates the long-standing shame and guilt surrounding female pleasure. It remains in a drawer most of the time. Female masturbation is hyper-sexualised due to pornography, where women’s pleasure is objectified and marketed for a male audience. When so much freedom, empowerment and safety can be found and reclaimed through solo exploration for women.  

Recently, Lovehoney dove into the ‘masturbation gap’ and found that, on average, women masturbated around 70 times a year (in 2022 and 2023), while men clocked up almost 191 sessions in the same time frame. The gender divide around the stigma of masturbation means that men prioritise self-pleasure as a way to de-stress, while women don’t as often. 

Education is partially to blame for this culture and gender divide. Female pleasure is not discussed in schools, with the focus placed on the importance of condoms to prevent pregnancy or STI/STD transmissions, which provides a limited, heterosexual, cis view of sex.

As a result, the internet has become women’s go-to for information. The same research found that one in four women learned more about women’s health from social media than from school. Another study found 59% of American women felt that female masturbation should be covered in school. All 59% of these women also revealed that when masturbating they always orgasmed, but only 15% of this group orgasmed with a partner during sex.

By avoiding discussions around female pleasure, not only does it become embarrassing to approach the subject, but it also means that women aren’t satisfied during sex.

Sex Education is ground-breaking as it explores how natural sexual desire is for women. Aimee is completely unphased by female masturbation, leaving dildos everywhere and even buying her favourite sex toy for her best friend, Maeve. Friendship goals right there.

It’s extremely liberating to see Aimee not only embracing but meeting her high sex drive by trying out different toys to discover what gives her the most pleasure. She isn’t sexualised in the process; she’s fully clothed in bed and we get the sense that this is a very regular part of her routine, much like brushing her teeth.

It’s inspiring to see Aimee accept her desires and satisfy them. It helps to normalise women’s sex drive as a natural need that no one should be ashamed of. Her desire for sex isn’t the problem – it’s the sexualised world in which she lives. 

Aimee’s liberation is more fulfilling to see as she is still coming to terms with being sexually assaulted on the bus during season two. She is reclaiming her body and sexuality through self-pleasure and art. 

After seeing women’s self-portraits, Aimee sets up her camera to take pictures of herself as she poses with her dildos. It’s a humorous and powerful moment, and one that eventually leads Aimee to take pictures with the jeans she was wearing that day on the bus, which, she admits through tears, she sometimes feels like she’s “still wearing”.

Aimee is a consistently beautifully written character, who we’d all want as a friend in our lives, and her healing journey in season four is stunning to witness. She reconnects with herself, reclaims her body and her sexuality as her own, and becomes more open, confident and empowered along the way.

It’s so important to see female pleasure represented on screen. It offers a healthier image for women that reinforces that masturbation is normal. Sex toys are normal. It’s normal to have a desire and fulfil it. Sexual desires don’t have to be stifled or ignored when they can be explored in a safe and enjoyable way.

Sexual pleasure is a natural need for women, as much as men, and the more you explore that connection with yourself the more empowering sex can become, as Aimee so brilliantly demonstrates. 

Images: Netflix