This article contains details about domestic abuse and assault.

Reading the daily headlines is an increasingly draining experience. Every day, we are bombarded with horrifying scenes from Ukraine, shocking figures about the climate crisis, and a seemingly endless stream of news about alleged corruption within our own government. But for women in particular, there is another brand of news that is utterly devastating.

Every week, there seems to be another story that details the horrifying fall-out of a case of domestic abuse. For years, women have been campaigning to end male violence against women and the misogynistic behaviours and attitudes that so often pre-empt it. After a string of devastating cases of male violence against women in the last year, including those of Sarah Everard, Sabina Nessa, Nicole Smallman and Bibaa Henry, the campaign has ramped up. Awareness is growing and women’s anger is mounting. And yet, the steady stream of horror stories keeps on coming.

The latest is the story of Aston Greenwood. On 4 March, the 33-year-old was sentenced to a total of 20 years in prison after pleading guilty to grievous bodily harm, controlling and coercive behaviour, threats to kill and two counts of assaulting a child. As the BBC reports, Greenwood broke into his ex-girlfriend’s home and carried out what the police called a “harrowing and sustained attack”. He hit, kicked, punched and assaulted her – at one point, stabbing her in the face with broken glass, because he allegedly wanted to stop her from looking at other men.

According to the Manchester Evening News, during their relationship he had used terrifying threats to control her. What began as violent threats soon turned into physical assault, but she was too afraid to seek help.

This is a uniquely horrific case – but for many women, the details will sound like a broken record. This case may be devastating, but even more devastating is the fact that it does not come as a shock.

There have been countless cases of violent domestic abuse in the past few years — 16,648 in 2021, according to the CPS. And almost all of them began with the same thing: coercive control.

Coercive control is defined as “an act or a pattern of acts of assault, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish, or frighten their victim”. While it can happen in any relationship and to any gender, the vast majority (97% in the UK) of cases involve a man controlling a woman.

Coercive control may not always involve physical violence, but it is emotional violence. And it needs to be taken seriously. It leaves victims feeling helpless and terrified. It strips away their self-worth, agency and their power to reach out for help. In Greenwood’s case, it was five years of sustained coercive control, during which his victim was “bullied, terrorised, belittled and isolated”.

And while controlling behaviour doesn’t always lead to physical violence, domestic violence is almost always preceded by coercive control. It has been shown time and time again to be a crystal clear warning sign of a person’s propensity towards violent acts of domestic abuse. In Australia, one review found that in 112 cases of domestic homicide, 111 began with the use of coercive and controlling behaviours.

In the UK, coercive control has reached epidemic levels. As the ONS reports, there were 33,954 reported cases of coercive control in 2021. That’s up from 24,856 in 2020 and 17,616 in 2019.

In some ways, the UK seems to be exemplary in its approach. In 2015, the UK was the first country in the world to criminalise coercive control. In 2022, the Domestic Abuse Act was amended with the removal of the cohabitation requirement – an important step as coercive control often does not end when the relationship does. And, abusive relationship tactics including coercive control are now part of the education curriculum.

And yet, despite these measures, we are still seeing countless cases of women who have been unable to get the help they need when they are stuck in an abusive relationship. Often, authorities are unaware of the situation until it’s too late – or worse, coercive control has been reported, and authorities don’t act until after physical violence has happened.

Coercive control may be criminalised, but in reality, women are terrified to report their abusers to police. Greenwood’s case is just one example. And even when they do find the courage to make a report, proceedings can take months before a verdict is reached. Plus, with dismal prosecution and conviction rates in the UK, reporting an abuser to police gives women little guarantee that they will be convicted.

We cannot continue placing the onus on women to escape their own abusers. We cannot continue waiting for life-changing violent assaults to take place before we see coercive control for what it is.

Women’s emotional trauma in abusive relationships is still not being taken seriously enough. How many horrifying cases of coercive control turned to life-changing violent assaults will it take before we start taking coercive control as seriously as other forms of domestic abuse? Because until we do, there really is no end in sight. 

In the UK, the domestic violence helpline is 0808 2000 247. Alternatively, contact Women’s Aid or Refuge for advice and support. 

Images: Getty, GMP