Content note: this article contains references to domestic abuse that readers may find upsetting.

On Tuesday 4 October, Angelina Jolie filed court papers accusing ex-husband Brad Pitt of drunkenly attacking her and their children during a private plane flight, prompting her to file for divorce.

This cross-complaint is part of an ongoing legal battle launched by Pitt over a French winery the former couple once co-owned. Lawyers for Jolie allege that negotiations for her to sell her share of Chateau Miraval to Pitt broke down over his demand that she sign “a nondisclosure agreement that would have contractually prohibited her from speaking outside of court about Pitt’s physical and emotional abuse of her and their children”.

The following was first reported by the New York Times yesterday: “Pitt choked one of the children and struck another in the face. He grabbed Jolie by the head and shook her.” At one point “he poured beer on Jolie; at another, he allegedly poured beer and red wine on the children”. Jolie filed for divorce days after the trip, and an investigation was launched by the FBI, who stated: “It was agreed by all parties that criminal charges in this case would not be pursued due to several factors.” Pitt’s representatives have denied the allegations, telling Page Six they are “completely untrue”.

According to Jolie’s lawyers, she had “gone to great lengths to try to shield their children from reliving the pain Pitt inflicted on the family that day, but when Pitt filed this lawsuit seeking to reassert control over Jolie’s financial life and compel her to rejoin her ex-husband as a frozen-out business partner, Pitt forced Jolie to publicly defend herself on these issues for the first time.”

In a statement provided to CNN on Tuesday, a representative for Pitt said: “(Jolie’s) story continues to evolve each time she tells it with new, unsubstantiated claims. Brad has accepted responsibility for what he did but will not for things he didn’t do. These new allegations are completely untrue.” 

Only the court can determine Brad’s legal guilt in this matter, which is yet to happen – but what has been made clear over the last few days is that as a society we need to learn not to instantly assume the woman is being dishonest and vilify her in the process. Otherwise victims will continue to be silenced and justice will not be found.

Since news of this alleged domestic abuse broke, there has been a flurry of activity on Twitter, with users already questioning Jolie’s credibility. Replies to The New York Times’ tweet that broke the story number in their thousands. Many of them in a similar vein: immediately believing the man and shaming the woman, her credibility, her parenting, her talent, her sexuality. Asking why they did not hear about this alleged abuse in 2016, rather than questioning why it’s so hard for women to speak out (and how they – the social media commentators – are complicit in that).

Our immediate desire to weigh in on a trial between two celebrities is parasocial, and following the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard defamation case, it’s something we should be wary of. Celebrity fandom blinds us in our support of our favourite stars and makes it hard to accept or comprehend that someone we have admired on screen for decades could not be who we thought they were. 

The sad and disturbing reality is that women are rarely believed when they speak out against male violence; people are quick to assume women are lying rather than question the man’s behaviour, and this only intensifies when the individuals involved are public figures.

Before clicking on the replies to The New York Times’ article about Jolie and Pitt, I had hoped that because of Jolie’s immeasurable fame and power, this case might be different. But, the internet’s response was predictably misogynistic, echoing the same vitriol we heard throughout the recent high-profile case between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp. A lot of the same rhetoric can be seen aimed at FKA twigs, who filed a lawsuit against Shia LaBeouf alleging sexual battery, assault and infliction of emotional distress. Megan Thee Stallion, who was shot in the foot, has also been at the receiving end of sexism and people discrediting her in the abuse case against Tory Lanez. These are but a few of the current high-profile domestic abuse cases in the public consciousness, but in every instance where a woman is accusing a man of sexual or domestic abuse, I guarantee you will find people questioning the woman’s validity. 

Judith Banjoko, interim CEO at women’s aid charity Solace, spoke to Stylist about this news, saying: ‘It’s never easy for anyone to talk about their abuse or the abuse of their children. There is often shame attached to being abused, in addition to the fear of retaliation from the abuser or the risk of not being believed. But victims and survivors have the right to speak out, and for many, being able to talk openly about their abuse is part of their healing process. For women in the public eye, seeing how other women have been treated when they come forward with their stories, it must be terrifying. They risk their reputation, their career and industrial levels of vitriol online.”

Banjoko continued to say that “the immediate discrediting, ridiculing and accusations of manipulation that come when a famous woman reports incidents of abuse is terrifying and shows how embedded misogyny is in our culture and how far we still have to go to create a fair and equal society”.

Society disbelieves women as a default. And it’s terrifying. Angelina Jolie is popular, powerful and privileged, yet still the general public’s immediate response is to accuse her of lying and being spiteful. They have not waited to hear her testify or withheld their judgement until seeing the evidence, before discrediting her account. This sends a clear message to survivors: if society does not believe this woman, what chance do you have?

Farah Nazeer, chief executive of Women’s Aid, said: “Domestic abuse is experienced by 1.6 million women a year in England and Wales, though we only ever know the tip of the iceberg, as only one in five women report abuse. We know that mainstream misogynist views and victim-blaming mean that many women don’t come forward due to fear of judgment and not being believed.

“As our recently published research shows, UK public attitudes can hold survivors responsible for the abuse inflicted on them. It is therefore vital that we all work to change public attitudes to ensure women feel supported when coming forward.”

Research for the Met police in 2022 suggests that less than 0.02% of cases of domestic violence allegations reported are found to be false. So in over 99% of cases, women are not making their abuse up, and yet in 99% of high-profile cases, they are not believed.

The majority of domestic homicide victims (killed by an ex, a partner or a family member) for the year ending March 2017 to the year ending March 2019 were female (77% or 274 victims) and most of the suspects were male (263 of 274 or 96%). Of the 83 male victims of domestic homicide, the suspect was female in 39 cases and male in 44 cases. Women, therefore, are disproportionally the victims and men the perpetrators – this pattern of silencing women also silences all other victims, including the men who are victims of domestic abuse. 

People always tout ‘innocent until proven guilty’, but where is this same support for domestic abuse survivors? Women are branded as liars even if all the evidence presented supports them. They are victim-blamed by society and this persists throughout the organisations investigating such cases. Misogyny is structural, it is pervasive. It is what allows such alarming rates of male violence to exist unchecked.

We do not yet know what the outcome of this trial between Pitt and Jolie will be, and whether these allegations will hold up in court. While this plays out in a public arena, keep in mind the impact of your words - Jolie may not see your comments, but domestic abuse survivors could. In a world that is so quick to discredit victims, err on the side of caution and practice kindness. 

Women’s Aid is a grassroots federation working together to provide life-saving services and build a future where domestic violence is not tolerated. Visit their website for support.

Solace Women’s Aid offers free advice and support to women and children in London.

Images: Getty