Content note: the following article contains references to domestic abuse that readers might find upsetting. 

Emily* started a relationship with the abuser when she was 17 years old. Her partner was five years older than her. After nearly eight years with her abusive partner, she was forced to flee the home she jointly owned with him for her safety and pay for alternative accommodation. Although the abuser remained in the property, he stopped making mortgage repayments and refused to sell the property.

Because of the abuse, Emily’s credit report suffered significantly, and she was left with minimal economic options: unable to rent a property, get a mortgage, finance a car or even take out a mobile phone contract in her own name. The impact on Emily’s life was substantial, not just economically but personally, and she was left to rely on family support for years after leaving the abuser as most of her options were taken away.

Emily said: “I had no clue at the time what domestic abuse was, let alone economic abuse. I just felt when you got in a relationship, you got a joint account, and what’s yours is theirs, and the other way round. I think I had a very old-fashioned view on everything. I feel like sometimes I just stayed because that’s what you did; you got together young and lived your life forever with them.”

Economic abuse is a devastating form of domestic abuse whereby a current or ex-partner controls your money and the things that money can buy with long-lasting and damaging effects. Sadly, Emily’s experience is one among many: one in five young women have experienced economic abuse in the last 12 months, according to the latest statistics from Surviving Economic Abuse.

Speaking to Stylist about this, interim CEO Sam Smethers said: “This International Women’s Day, we want every younger victim-survivor to know that you are not alone; there is help out there. That’s why we’re raising awareness of how to spot the signs of economic abuse and access help.  

“But to break the cycle of domestic abuse once and for all, the government must put tackling economic abuse and its root causes at the heart of its mission to halve violence against women and girls in a decade. With the rise of harmful messaging online about men and boys’ power and control over women and girls’ economic resources, it’s never been more important.”

What are the signs of economic abuse that women should look out for?

“Economic abuse can be difficult to spot and what might at first seem caring or protective can very quickly become controlling and coercive. For example, offering to take care of the bills, discouraging you from going for a promotion at work or asking if you could take out a loan to help them out, which they say they will pay back but never do,” explains Smethers.

“You may be unclear on whether something is just poor money management or something more sinister. The difference really is if how your partner manages their money – or your shared money – is something you can talk openly about and work through together or if their behaviour is about controlling you and making you economically dependent on them.”

Smethers says you may notice that you might be changing your behaviour as a result of your partner, like feeling anxious, isolating yourself, or changing what you buy. Or you might be scared of talking to your partner about their behaviour for fear of what they might do to you in response.

“If you’re concerned, it may be helpful to ask yourself, does your partner tell you how to spend your own money, or monitor your spending via banking apps? Have they ever forced you to buy things on credit that you can’t afford or stolen money from you? Have they ever got angry and thrown or smashed your mobile phone?”

If someone is experiencing economic abuse, what support is available?

For anyone experiencing economic abuse right now, Smethers emphasises it’s important to know that you are not alone and there is help out there. There are many organisations that can support you with the issues you may be facing. Charities, the police and even banks can help you reach personal and economic safety.

“If you’re in immediate danger, call 999. If you’re not in immediate danger but need support, you can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247. By calling the helpline, you will be able to talk about your experiences and speak to someone about your options. They will be able to refer you to specialist support services that can help you to reach safety and access local support.”

Smethers also shares that if it’s safe to do so, you can tell your bank that you are experiencing economic abuse so they can help you take steps to regain control of your money. This may include delinking your finances from those of the abuser and suggesting ways of ensuring that the abuser cannot access your banking information.

And if you’re worried that someone you care about is experiencing economic abuse, let them know that help is available and that they are not alone. Believe them, and don’t ask too many questions. Take time to listen and recognise that it may take time for them to act. You can visit Surviving Economic Abuse’s website to access lots of information, practical tips and contact details for organisations who can provide specialist support.

This International Women’s Day, help Surviving Economic Abuse accelerate action to end economic abuse by signing their pledge to show your support for survivors and tell abusers there’s no excuse for economic abuse.

In the UK, the domestic violence helpline is 0808 2000 247. Alternatively, contact Women’s Aid or Refuge for advice and support. 

*Name has been changed

Images: Getty