I’ve always been political. I used to think it was because I was raised on TV dinners, sitting in front of the 6 o’clock news every weeknight with my parents, where my dad and I would discuss (and often debate) the headlines of the day. I’ve always been curious to know more about the world and, more importantly, how it all works. It’s probably what led me towards the job that I do. As a nearly 30-year-old, I’ve lived through several general elections, and there’s usually a buzz in the air, as if you could smell the tides of change nearing the shore. However, with the current election, something feels different.

There’s no real buzz or excitement that a new political party may be forming a new government after a decade of Conservative rule. If anything, the election campaigning feels flat, hopeless and despondent. And for the first time in my life, I still don’t know who I’ll vote for when I enter the ballot box tomorrow. I’m still undecided. Reading the party manifestos, watching the television debates and attempting to decipher which party best represents my beliefs and values has been harder than ever.

It isn’t just me either. Speaking to friends and family over the last six weeks, I’ve heard the same rhetoric again and again. “It feels like the two main parties are just the same,” one friend told me in the pub last week. “I don’t know who stands for what or who to even trust anymore,”, another friend said on the phone last night.

It’s this lack of trust and confidence that’s causing so many of us to lose faith in British politics. Stylist conducted a poll of more than 500 women in the UK and found that although 89% intend to vote in the general election on 4 July, only 0.6% trust the current political parties and politicians, and 59.6% of women surveyed did not have confidence in the parties.

For the last few elections, I’ve been a Labour member. However, a couple of years ago, I cancelled my membership as I didn’t feel welcome in Keir Starmer’s Labour party. As a brown Muslim woman, seeing the horrific abuse that many women of colour in the party have faced – including Zarah Sultana and Diane Abbott – with little to no backing from the leadership left a sour taste in my mouth. Racism, Islamophobia and any form of prejudice has no place in politics, so to see abuse overlooked and ignored showed me that Starmer’s Labour has no problem casting aside the experiences of marginalised people.

It’s something that’s come up once again this week with Starmer indicating in an interview with The Times that “biological women’s spaces need to be protected” and that trans women with gender recognition certificates wouldn’t have the right to enter these spaces. Would a Starmer Labour government be all that different from a Conservative one? I just don’t know.

A decade of austerity and a Tory party leaning more and more to the right has meant tactical voting is the term on everyone’s lips this week. There are even online tools you can use to ensure your vote goes to the party most likely to oust the current government. An argument I’ve seen invoked a lot in recent weeks is the idea of voting for the ‘lesser of two evils’. It’s likely this is an indictment of our first-past-the-post voting system, which means only two political parties can realistically win and form a government. This mindset is all well and good but why has our political landscape become so toxic that we’re having to choose between two evils?

But all hope is not lost. It wasn’t long ago that women didn’t even have the right to vote so I’m aware how much of a privilege it is to be able to exercise your democratic right to vote – no matter what political party you choose. It’s also easy to feel apathetic about the current state of politics, yet it’s important to remember that politics doesn’t just happen in Westminster or on polling day.

Politics happens to all of us. Every single day. There are countless grassroots and local political groups and campaigns happening on the ground that are pushing for real and tangible change. From giving young people a voice in politics to pushing for change for migrant voting rights, there are people up and down the country fighting for a better world and that gives me so much hope for the future – even if I still don’t know who to vote for.

“The general election is tomorrow, and I still don’t know who to vote for”