Asking for a pay rise can be a daunting prospect. We may go to work to earn money, but talking openly about our salaries and how much we’re worth is difficult.

But despite how uncomfortable it may feel, asking for a pay rise is an essential part of making progress in your career.

It’s also an important way to fight the gender pay gap. According to a YouGov survey of 16,000 adults published in April this year, 43% of men have asked for a pay rise in the past, compared to only a third of women.  

And while asking for a pay rise may not always lead to success, the issue of gender also comes into play here, with the YouGov survey revealing one in five women who ask for a pay rise are successful compared to just under a third of men – so it’s always worth a shot.

The only problem is knowing where to start, and that’s where this article comes in. Speaking at Stylist Live over the weekend, journalist and We Need To Talk About Money author Otegha Uwagba shared some invaluable advice about how to breach the subject of a pay increase with your employer, including when to ask and what to do if they say no. 

1. Set a concrete meeting time

The first step in asking for a pay rise is making time to have that conversation – and Uwagba recommends setting a concrete time for you and your manager to discuss this.

“I would suggest setting a concrete meeting time with your boss or line manager,” she told the crowd. “It’s not the kind of [conversation] you just run by someone in passing. Send an email [with the meeting time attached] and also indicate in that email that you are looking to discuss your progress or performance, because nobody likes being blindsided by money. So, you might just want to tell your manager what this conversation is going to be about.” 

2. Practise what you’re going to say

There’s no need to learn any lines, but if you’re worried about how you’re going to broach the subject, having a general idea of what you’re going to say can help to ease your nerves.

“You want to have a conversation with your friend about it or practise in front of the mirror,” Uwagba said. “Get a bit of a script going so you don’t turn up and find that you’re lost for words.”

3. Frame the conversation in terms of what you deserve

We all want a pay rise, but in order to convince your manager why you should have one, you’ll probably have to put forward a bit of a case.

“I think it’s really important that you broach your request in terms of what you deserve, as opposed to what you want or need,” Uwagba explained. 

“It would be amazing if employers took things like the cost of living crisis into account when it comes to pay, but they don’t. 

“So, as a result, you kind of need to make a business case – maybe you’ve brought in certain clients or maybe you’ve risen billables by a certain amount or you’ve saved them money.” 

4. Make sure your timing is right

In an ideal world, you’d be able to ask for a pay rise whenever you feel like you deserve one, but if you want to increase your odds of success, it’s a good idea to think tactically about when you’re broaching the subject.

“Make sure your timing is right,” Uwagba said. “For example, if the company has just gone through a bunch of layoffs and redundancies, then it’s maybe not the time to be asking for a pay rise; on the flipside, if they just got a massive injection of funding, then that’s the ideal time to ask for a pay rise.” 

5. Be succinct

When you’re feeling awkward or nervous, it’s easy to overexplain or fill any silence, but try to keep your request relatively short.

“Resist the urge to babble on,” Uwagba recommended. “I think once you’ve made the request, just sit and let the silence go – I think people feel awkward asking for pay rises, but also bosses feel quite awkward talking about the money needed for pay rises. So don’t babble – just let them respond.”

6. If the answer is no, ask what next

While a ‘no’ can be disappointing, it’s important not to lose sight of the bigger picture: getting a pay rise in the long-run. If you need more money to cover living costs – or just fancy earning more – then you might want to start looking for another job. 

However, if you can afford to wait, asking what needs to happen to secure a pay rise is a great place to start.

“Make sure to ask what you need to do, and by when, in order to get a pay rise, and make sure you get that in writing,” Uwagba suggests.

“Something I hear a lot is that pay rise conversations keep getting kicked down the line, so you want to have it solidified in words. Because if you go back again and you’re still being messed around, maybe that’s a sign to leave.” 

You can check out more of the talks from Stylist Live here.

Images: Bronac McNeill; Getty