Amid the Russian invasion of Ukraine, a worsening refugee situation and a cost of living crisis, the privilege of safety and security has never been more apparent.

With every report painting a more heartbreaking picture of life for some in 2022, our own personal challenges are given a new kind of perspective as we consider how fortunate we are.

Fractious relationships, money worries and everyday anxiety become “insignificant” in comparison to the “real” issues, leading many of us to feel silly, unjustified and even entitled for expressing our grievances.

“I feel like more and more I’m seeing people coming to me as GP and saying: ‘Oh, it’s really silly, but…’, ‘I’m really sorry, this is wasting your time…’, and ‘I know you’re really busy…’, Dr Hannah Barham-Brown tells Stylist.

“I keep wanting to tell people that it’s perfectly legitimate that they feel that way. You don’t need to justify how you’re feeling at all.”

And it’s true. Feeling stressed at work is put into a kind of perspective when you consider those who lost their jobs during the pandemic. Being frustrated with your living situation seems to pale in comparison to the millions who have fled theirs in Ukraine.

Against the backdrop of so much global hardship and tension, it can be tempting to push our own feelings aside and dismiss them as “first world problems”. But Dr Barham-Brown stresses that we shouldn’t suppress our emotions because we consider them undeserving of attention.

“We know what happens when people don’t talk about their mental health, and I worry that these feelings of guilt – thinking ‘our lives aren’t as bad as X,Y,Z’ – is putting people off of having these really important conversations,” she explains.

“People are waiting for things to get worse before they seek the support that would really benefit them.”

While Dr Barham-Brown suggests that her female patients are often much better at talking about their emotions, they are also often the first to downplay what they’re experiencing.

“It can be quite devastating to hear that they put so little importance on their own wellbeing,” she continues. “They feel like they have to apologise when they’re finding life hard, but when they actually tell you everything that’s going on, it’s no wonder they’re struggling. Women juggle so much and so the barriers they face are so different. There is also an expectation for men to ‘just get on with it’, but it presents very differently.”

When we consider everything we’ve been through in the past two years, it’s no wonder so many of us are still struggling.

“The psychological reserve we once had has been all but depleted by the collective trauma of the pandemic and now war. The capacity we once had to manage life’s challenges just isn’t there anymore,” Dr Barham-Brown explains.

“We’re all still collectively grieving. When a loved one dies, we have a whole process that has evolved over centuries of how we mourn and how we process the death. We have routines that help us to come to terms with it. But there is no equivalent for a pandemic. There is no way of building yourself back up again after two years of consistent fear and trauma and life being in turmoil.”

“Mental health is such an insidious issue. It makes you feel very isolated and like nobody else in the world can possibly feel the way you do. Nobody else can ever experience it and you’re ridiculous for feeling that way. So actually reaching out and saying, ‘I’ve got a problem,’ is you fighting back against that, and that takes a lot of strength.”

But instead of ignoring the traumatic external events, Dr Barham-Brown says that the key is to acknowledge them as we continue to rebuild our reserves.

“It’s important that we keep having conversations about the impact world events have on us as individuals and how we can manage them in the context of our own lives. It’s undoubtedly hard to process, but it helps us to think about how we respond to the day-to-day challenges that we’re all facing.”

If you, or someone you know, is struggling with their mental health, you can find support and resources on the mental health charity Mind’s website and NHS Every Mind Matters or access the NHS’ list of mental health helplines and organisations here.

Additionally, you can ask your GP for a referral to NHS Talking Therapies, or you can self-refer.

For confidential support, you can also call the Samaritans in the UK on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. 

Images: Molly Saunders/Getty