At this time of the year, we can all expect to hear “Merry Christmas” and “Have a happy new year” over and over again. To most, this will be received as a welcome moment of cheer, but for those who have recently lost a parent or loved one, these festive niceties feel different: on some days, they shred your nerves and on others they simply don’t register at all.

Rather than being the most wonderful time of year, you’re in survival mode and just want it to be over, but the season to be jolly lasts for weeks and there’s no escape. At least that’s what it was like for me.

My mother died in November 2018, passing away suddenly from a brain aneurysm after going to bed one night at the age of 58. Mum had just retired and was about to embark on a whole new life full of shopping and adventure with my dad, only to be snatched in her sleep.

My mum was Mrs Christmas. Luther Vandross’s Christmas album would blast from her stereo on repeat, wine would be free-flowing (and if not wine, large rums) and our house was sprinkled with elves, confetti, lights and candles. The year that she died, it was as if all the colour had been drained from everything and my small family was broken.