There’s no getting around it: going through a breakup with a long-term partner is tough. There’s the emotional fallout, the splintering of friendship groups and in among all of this, it’s likely that you’ll have to extricate yourselves from each other financially, too – and this can often prove more complex than arguing over who gets to keep the hamster. 

Research shows that 61% of people in serious relationships share household finances, which adds an extra layer of stress as former couples attempt to disentangle their lives.

“Breakups are draining,” says Camilla Esmund, senior manager at Interactive Investor. “The emotional stress can be exhausting, the worry about the future is real, and alongside the heartbreak, there can be some pretty stressful financial woes to consider too. Even if you weren’t married or didn’t live together, you might have got used to splitting the cost of living, so a breakup can have a big impact on your personal finances even if you don’t share keys or a last name.”

It doesn’t have to be all bad news: it can be helpful to see a breakup as a chance to overhaul what’s going on for your finances rather than viewing it as another obstacle to cause worry and stress.

“Experiencing a breakup can be emotionally challenging, and it often forces you to confront significant financial adjustments,” says Anel Andrews, an insolvency practitioner at MoneyPlus. “The end of a relationship can turn into a financial muddle, but difficult times also offer an opportunity. They’re a chance to reassess your financial habits, break free from detrimental patterns and build a solid foundation for your future.”

“The process of untangling two sets of finances that were once intertwined isn’t easy,” says Esmund. “Figuring out what you need to separate yourself from and how best to do it can be incredibly daunting. But, there are some simple steps to take to break it down into manageable tasks.”

1. Ask for help 

First and foremost, don’t try to sort things out on your own. It pays to have help when it comes to financial organisation. “Emotional support from family is great, but if your finances are tangled, professional advice is key,” says Aaron Peake, personal finance expert at CredAbility. “Free services like Money Wellness can help you understand your options and support you through the financial side of things.”

2. Make a list 

“First things first, make a list,” says Esmund. “Lists will help you feel more in control. Jot out everything you think you are connected to – this might be as big as a mortgage or as small as tickets to a gig that you’ve already paid for. Then there’s all the in-between stuff, like TV licences, Netflix subscriptions and bills. Once you know everything that has tied you together, decide how to divide it up. The quicker you can untangle shared expenses, the better – but don’t do it alone. Ask your ex to help share the load.”

3. Separate your finances

“Close down your shared accounts and split your savings,” says Peake. “While this may be an awkward step, it’s important to get it over with: an account can’t be closed until the money has been divided. If there’s shared debt, work out how it’ll be repaid or transferred into one name. Change passwords on accounts you both had access to and remove your card details. You’ll want to lock your ex out of anything linked to your finances, whether it’s Netflix or your online shopping accounts.”

4. Budget, budget, budget

Now you’ve separated your money, it’s time to take an honest, realistic look at budgeting. “Crafting a budget tailored to your new circumstances is crucial,” says Andrews. “Start by categorising expenses: divide your spending into fixed (eg rent, utilities) and variable (eg groceries, entertainment) categories. Set spending limits, allocating specific amounts to each category based on your income and priorities. Track your spending meticulously to ensure you stick to your budget, adjusting as needed. A structured budget not only helps you manage your money effectively but also prevents overspending during transitional periods.”

5. Sort out housing arrangements

“Remember that rent and mortgages are often the biggest costs, so take some time to consider what you could do,” says Esmund. “One of the best pieces of advice I’ve been given is not to rush into new arrangements. If you need a short-term solution, stay with friends or family – you’d do the same for them, so they likely will for you, too.”

And don’t forget to check what you may (or may not) be liable for, if you were co-habiting.

“If you’re renting, check your tenancy agreement to see if you’re both still liable for rent,” says Peake. “If you own a property together, it’s important to seek professional advice on your options, whether it’s selling, refinancing or buying out the other person. Make sure you’re no longer liable for any utility bills in your name, and if you’re moving out, contact service providers to close accounts or change details.” 

6. Disassociate your credit

“One of the last financial links you may have with your ex is your credit report,” says Peake. “If you’ve taken out loans or credit together, your creditworthiness could be impacted by their future spending. To protect yourself, request a financial disassociation from the credit reference agencies once all joint accounts and credit agreements have been closed or transferred.” 

And if you do have debts, prioritise repaying them strategically. 

“If you’ve accumulated debt, especially high-interest obligations, it’s essential to address them head-on,” says Andrews. “Consider the avalanche method: focus on paying off debts with the highest interest rates first while maintaining minimum payments on others. This strategy minimises the total interest paid over time and accelerates your journey toward becoming financially secure.”

7. Consider your pension position 

This one is especially crucial for women, who are often at real risk of missing out on pension payments in a divorce or other breakup. “This is something that’s often neglected, but even if you’re years or decades out from retirement, chances are you’ll have a pension to consider,” says Esmund. “Women are at greater risk of missing out when it comes to dividing up pension savings: research shows that three-quarters of divorced women admitted they didn’t discuss their pension savings at all as part of their settlement with their ex-husband, compared to 56% of divorced men. However, pension considerations in a divorce are not always straightforward, and matters get even more complicated if couples have been married before. It is worth consulting a solicitor to understand the legal aspects and options related to pension division.”

8. Re-evaluate your money mindset

Last but not least, every challenge is a chance to learn and grow, so it’s worth taking some time to think about your relationship with your finances and see where you can make changes. 

“A breakup is a time for introspection,” says Andrews. “Reflect on your past financial behaviours and identify any underlying beliefs that may have contributed to bad money habits. Understanding these patterns can empower you to make healthier decisions moving forward and create a more positive relationship with money.”

And that’s something we can benefit from. 

Images: Getty