So I took the day off for my birthday and went to the cinema. At 10am! I just decided to watch whatever was showing and, once again, I felt that lovely buzz in the seconds before the movie started. It didn’t matter what I did afterwards – whether I threw a party or ordered a takeaway – because I’d found a glimmer in a day that had always given me unnecessary and inexplicable anxiety. And I got an extra kick from being in a cinema during the daytime!

Deb Dana, the author who coined the term ‘glimmers’, is a clinical social worker who specialises in complex trauma. As she explains, “Glimmers refer to small moments when our biology is in a place of connection or regulation, which cues our nervous system to feel safe or calm. Whereas triggers are cues that prompt fight-or-flight states, glimmers are cues that push the opposite buttons; they prompt feelings of safety and connection.”

When it comes to the power of glimmers, Deb explains, “We’re not talking great, big, expansive experiences of joy or safety or connection, these are micro-moments that begin to shape our system in very gentle ways.”

Those micro-moments can be as simple as sitting in the cinema on your own, and loving it. Small moments allow for spontaneity and relaxation. If each moment is a building block, they can stack up to create a tower of happiness. Small moments come with fewer expectations, too, and in return they can create opportunities for mindfulness. My advice, for those who also feel awkward about their birthdays? Find your unexpected glimmer and make it an annual treat.

“I’ve always felt awkward on my birthday – this strategy helped me to finally relax”