Credit: Getty
Whether they’re aimed at cleavage shaming, discriminatory dress codes, mansplaining, or misogyny in general, these are the funniest feminist comebacks to grace the internet. Ever.
Ah, feminists.
If you delve into the misogynist depths of social media and read what some idiots people are saying about us, you’ll quickly come to the conclusion that we’re all unsmiling, embittered, sex-starved, man-hating witches. We keep our hair short, our shoes flat, and our bras brightly aflame. We mewl and cry over ‘silly’ first world issues (like, say, the fact that the USA’s pussy-grabbing president continues to wage war on our reproductive organs). And, of course, we meet in secret and plot to capture every single male human, so that we can chain them up in an underground dungeon and milk them of their semen. Because, y’know, that’s what abolishing the patriarchy is really all about.
Perhaps the most common complaint about feminists, however, is that we don’t have a sense of humour. “It’s just a bit of banter,” misogynists will tell us, before ordering us to “lighten up” and (our favourite) “give us a smile”.
It goes without saying, of course, that they’ve got it completely wrong: feminists are actually really bloody funny. In fact, we’re probably the most hilarious people on the internet. Don’t believe us? We’ll prove it.
Sit back and relax as we navigate you through the internet’s best, funniest, and – above all else – saltiest feminist comebacks ever.
The game of deception
Mike fell hook, line and sinker for this one, didn’t he?
On children’s books
We know some ridiculous people have a problem with female genitalia, and that they’ll go to any lengths to avoid talking about them (or even referring to them by name). However, you’d imagine a book created to educate young girls about their vaginas would have the courage to say so on the front cover.
What’s Down There? was the hesitant title applied to a children’s book about vaginas, vulvas, and the like – and Twitter had a field day over the pictures. When the likes of Jameela Jamil and Rosie Bennett took umbrage with the title, though, the book’s publishers were quick to respond.
“Please don’t judge our book by its cover,” they said. “Far from skirting around the subject (pun intended), the book’s title was carefully chosen for the exact purpose of highlighting the confusion around the terminology for female genitalia. Inside the books you’ll see all the correct terms.”
Fair enough, we suppose – but plenty of the women who responded pointed out that the male equivalent of the book (aptly titled That’s MY Willy) featured two little boys on the front. The girl’s book, however, featured two little boys staring down at a naked girl’s genitalia.
“What’s Down There?” someone asked. “[This is something] people say moments before they are killed in a horror film!”
Well, quite.
On sexist advertising
Gillette released a highly charged #MeToo-inspired US TV ad calling for men to not only not escape toxic masculinity but also to educate their children about new ways to be male. Men, naturally, were extremely unhappy about being told what to do by a grooming advert. Cue a spate of hilarious reactions from women everywhere.
On dressing for men
Perfection.
On dressing for men (part 2)
Boom.
On literally all men
If we had a penny for every time we’ve been subjected to the #NotAllMen argument, we’d finally own that tropical island we’ve been dreaming of…
On showing more skin
There’s nothing we love more than an amazing show of feminist goodwill, unless, of course, it’s an amazing show of feminist goodwill with added potato skins.
And while we’re on the subject of girls showing too much skin…
If you find our outfits to be too distracting, you’re almost definitely the problem.
On saying sorry
Let’s not.
On make-up
Exactly.
On catcalling
It may have been a sugary donut, but it made for one seriously salty comeback.
On female representation in TV and films
As a gender, we’re sure women could never even dream of understanding how it must feel to be treated like second-class citizens in Hollywood.
And on that note...
Anna Kendrick is the hero that women everywhere deserve, quite frankly.
And just one more...
We guess that means women were slaying at ghosting long before it was cool.
On rape culture
Time to start holding men to the exact same confines we’ve lived in since the dawn of time, maybe?
On double standards
Preach.
On how to respond to any guy who demands ‘entertainment’ on #TitsOutTuesday
How do we love thee, feminist badasses of the Twitterverse? Let us count the ways…
On the patriarchy
Maybe men will, one day, begin to understand what’s actually happening.
On cleavage-shaming
When Susan Sarandon opted for a V-neck at the SAG Awards, she was criticised and hounded on social media by men and women alike for daring to show her cleavage. There was one person in particular, however, who wouldn’t leave her alone: television presenter and Daily Mail columnist, Piers Morgan. Which makes this salty #TBT photo all the more perfect.
On the Friend Zone
Flawless.
On body-shaming
We actually think that would make a pretty awesome TV show, to be honest…
On the concept of vanity
Who’s got a duck face now, eh?
On mansplaining
Yup, it seems as if Sophia has got Twitter well and truly covered.
On the #MeToo movement
We kind of want to print this off a million times and start handing it out as our business card, to be honest.
On Instagram’s bizarre censorship rules
Remember: male nipples are absolutely fine. It’s female nipples that will make the world burn.
On those outdated gender stereotypes
Oh, misogynists – when will you learn? Also, get back in the garage: that fanbelt won’t tighten itself, y’know.
On fashion
The menfolk will never see us coming.
On periods
Any man who attempts to draw a correlation between a woman’s moods and her menstrual cycle is doomed to fail.
On mansplaining (again)
This made us snort-laugh in public.
On nature
Aha, now we finally know the backstory to Jaws.
On misogynist tabloid headlines
Someone had to do it.
On meninists and Piers Morgan
Nick Offerman, we salute you.
On marriage
For those who are wondering, the Oxford Dictionary defines ‘radical’ as “advocating or based on thorough or complete political or social change; representing or supporting an extreme or progressive section of a political party”.
So, yeah, getting married to someone you don’t hate, we guess.
On pregnancy
Remember what we said about milking the semen of manacled men? We won’t need to bother if we figure this out.
On the ‘weaker sex’
Absolutely.
On telling us to smile
Fun experiment: let’s all try telling strange men to ‘smile’ and report back our findings at the end of the week.
On sexist dress codes
According to White House sources, Donald Trump has told female staff that they need to “dress like women”, before clarifying that most women still feel pressured to wear dresses in order to impress him. Naturally, this sparked ire online… and a number of brilliant responses, just like the one above.
On boringly misogynist assumptions
The power of a good hashtag is undeniable.
On social media trolls
Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to invite JK Rowling along.
On consent
Once again, proof that a good cup of tea can solve pretty much anything in life.
On everyone who balked at the idea of an all-female Ghostbusters film
The woman is a genius.
On sexist social media comments
Yes. So much yes.
On female dragonflies
We’ve literally never related to anything more.
On the fair division of household chores
To paraphrase Wolf on Wall Street: “Pick up a mop, and start cleaning.”
On those outdated gender narratives
We could use the money. Consider us commissioned, Alison Becker.
On unsolicited opinions
We’ve always been a fan of the strong, silent type. Actually… strike strong.
On the lack of women being promoted
Studies have repeatedly shown that women are more likely to be ‘top performers,’ but less likely to be the boss. What gives?
On the concept of 'female privilege'
Get the f**k over yourselves, dudes.
On fashion (again)
Our illustrious leader Lisa Smosarski once informed us that pockets are, of course, a feminist issue. Why? Well, women traditionally didn’t have pockets because, not having any access to money, they wouldn’t have had anything to put in them. In the 1700s, they got around this by putting slits in their skirts by which they could access a pouch slung around their midsection. And, nowadays, we STILL don’t get them in the majority of our jeans. What gives, eh?
On outdated romantic narratives
Shall I compare thee to a bra? Thou art more clingy and uncomfortable…
On being mysterious AF
Sigh.
On catcalling
Any comeback that involves impersonating a velociraptor is a good comeback. Fact.
On fashion (just one more)
PREACH!
On the gender pay gap
It almost hurts to smile at this one.
On tampons
We pity his fragile male ego.
On feminism
Believe in equality of the sexes? Then you are a feminist, simple as.
On sexist internet trolls
Imagine the outcry. Just imagine it.
On men's grooming
We’re kind of on board with Eau de Sharknado, to be fair.
On gaming
As a girl who loves to play video games, I can attest to the above being 100% true.
Main image design: Alessia Armenise
Images: Getty/Twitter/iStock
This article was originally published in 2017, but is regularly updated to ensure you are brought the freshest and funniest feminist comebacks around.
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