How to deal with workplace vampires – the colleagues who bring down the whole team

How to deal with workplace vampires – the colleagues who bring down the whole team

Credit: Getty

Careers


How to deal with workplace vampires – the colleagues who bring down the whole team

By Amy Beecham

11 months ago

3 min read

The workplace vampire is the colleague we all have who steals the limelight and rubs everyone up the wrong way. But what is the best way to deal with them? And how can you make sure it’s not you?


When we spend such a significant portion of our lives at work (over 90,000 hours to be exact), it’s no surprise that our colleagues can often become some of our closest friends. That being said, there’s no guarantee that you’re set to be lifelong pals just because you share a desk or occasionally walk to get lunch together. And sometimes, there are people in our office who just rub us – and everyone else – up the wrong way.

Take, for example, the workplace vampire. If you’re not yet familiar with the term, you’ll certainly know the type of person it describes. They’re the ones who demand attention, and not always the good kind. Maybe they constantly need validation, lack personal boundaries or have an inflated ego without any abilities to back it up. Whatever their exact behaviour is, they’re the ones that are almost always responsible for shifting the office vibe and draining the team’s energy, usually without even realising.

“We all know that person who feels like they take up 90% of our time at work and take so much more than they give,” says career coach Jessica Brewer. Whether they’re trying to take over, complaining about others or getting too involved in office politics, workplace vampires can be particularly frustrating to work alongside. 

Of course, it’s important to remember that there is likely a reason why someone would behave this way. They might be dealing with imposter syndrome and overcompensating for it, or they may genuinely have trouble reading social cues and not realise how they’re coming off. That being said, behaviour that brings the whole office down does need to be addressed. So how can you learn to deal with one, especially if you’re not able to avoid them?

A woman unhappy at work

Credit: Getty

Firstly, if you can’t change the way someone else behaves at work, you can always take steps to alter your own patterns and moods, says leadership expert Rebecca Ann. Whether it’s taking a quick walk, making a cup of tea or having a song you can listen to after a particularly painful interaction, your own routine can be an antidote to whatever bad vibes the workplace vampire may have sent your way.

Secondly, when a vampire strikes, don’t underestimate the importance of changing the office tempo. “It is tempting to dismiss what a workplace vampire is saying but that can give them something else to rally against,” Ann suggests. “While you don’t want to feed them and enable them to offload their negativity, you can offer a quick validation like: ‘Wow that doesn’t sound fun, sorry about that’ before changing the subject.” Ann also recommends introducing lighthearted questions or bringing others into the conversation as a way of balancing giving them some of the attention they want without giving them the space to take over.

If that doesn’t work? Don’t be afraid to set a boundary. “Be firm but fair and communicate that if they continue being pushy or negative, you will end the conversation as you are not open to that way of communicating or behaviour,” she adds.

Finally, if you do need to offload your grievances with this frustrating colleague, do so to a non-work friend. “There is no getting around it, energy vampires are one of the most frustrating people to deal with at work and sometimes we all have to off-load our frustrations, but be mindful to talk to someone outside of work and not to become the energy vampire yourself,” Brewer adds.

And if you’re conscious that you could be a workplace vampire yourself? Brewer suggests asking yourself these questions: do you often find yourself venting or moaning to people at work? Have you noticed that your colleagues avoid talking to you or cut conversations short? Do you find your conversations at work go on and on without any resolution?

If the answer is yes, then the onus is on you to create a positive change. After all, being a good colleague is like being a good friend: it sometimes takes work. 


Images: Getty

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