From managing flexible working to grappling with a last-minute sickness bug/costume/forgotten paraphernalia, the word ‘routine’ quickly goes out the window.

And in a White Paper commissioned by Maltesers® as part of their Let’s Lighten The Load® campaign, 79% of mums in the UK said they feel guilty for not spending enough time with their children, while 56% of UK mums feel guilty about not working enough.

In a mission to continue the conversation about sharing the metaphorical ‘load’ of motherhood, Stylist spoke to four working mums to find out just what a day in a life looks like for them…

“I’m lucky that I work from home and part-time with flexible hours. Plus, neither of my children attend school (my youngest is home-educated and my eldest has a long-term chronic illness), so the lack of school run means my mornings are relatively relaxed. My husband brings me a cup of tea in bed and has breakfast with our youngest and I get up around 9am if I don’t have any early meetings.

I work in the dining room because my husband is in our home office, so I try very hard to have my desk as only a workspace and my children know to focus on their own independent working while I am working. I block out working time, which is different each day, and turn off any distractions on my phone – most of my WhatsApps are permanently muted!

I always break for lunch and make food for the children and we eat together. I also always stop work by 4pm at the latest so I can spend time with them and play games, just as if they were at school. Sometimes my youngest will forget I’m working and come in and talk to me when I’m on calls. Usually I’m on mute with a background, so that’s OK, but sometimes he comes right in and colleagues can see him. I also have some sign language we use so the kids can communicate with me quickly and unobtrusively for quick urgent questions.

I end by logging off my computer. Even if I need to do something personal on it I will have a break first so I switch out of work mode, and I go and find the children and ensure we have some time together.

I didn’t expect being a working mum to be so hard. Parenting is a full-time job in and of itself, especially when you have children with additional needs, and I had no idea pre-kids that it would be so all-consuming and exhausting. I’m lucky I have a flexible role and understanding workplace, or I wouldn’t be able to do it.

My biggest tip for working mums would be to be honest with colleagues. They are all juggling as well and being flexible with each other makes a world of difference. Also, make time for yourself in your life. Have a hobby or activity that you do just for you and that ideally takes you out of the home. It’s so good for your mental health.

No one day looks the same for me and that’s both a blessing and curse. I don’t ever quite know what the day will look like, but I do like variety. My day is about picking which ‘me’ I am at any given moment – am I working Emma or Mummy? Sometimes I have to swap – if my youngest hurts himself or is upset, I have to choose to change from working Emma to Mummy, despite being in the middle of something for my job, and likewise I might need to switch into work mode if something urgent comes up. I mentally make a deliberate switch and that helps me let go of my current mode and change over.”

Emma, NHS worker and seamstress, and mum of two children aged 15 and 10

“I have two boys and getting them ready and out of the house can sometimes feel like a challenge. Things are better now but my eldest child has had some health issues which means he hasn’t always attended school, something which put a huge amount of pressure on us and meant I could do very little throughout the day. It’s a little easier now since he started secondary school last year, as he has become more independent.

I make breakfast for them while checking Instagram and other social media for any work-related content (travel bookings and requests to be on TV and radio), then my nine year old plays PlayStation and chats to his friends online while he gets dressed. My eldest, health permitting, sets off to walk to school with friends at 8am and my youngest and I are out of the door by 8.40am to walk the 15 minutes or so to school.

I then try to do something healthy like have a run and also go to the gym. I am not good at staying in and working on my own, so I will usually go to a coffee shop and tap away at my laptop, taking travel bookings for my team and coaching others to earn money from travel. I am also often on radio or TV as a travel expert, but this is ad hoc and usually just from my phone. Often I will meet a friend or two for coffee or lunch. 

As a single parent responsible for most of the school pick-ups, my working day ends quite early. We are lucky that both schools are near a large park and so the kids play there for a couple of hours some days. I stand around chatting to other parents or sometimes answering messages from my phone. There have been many times I’ve reported on TV or radio from the park too! I just find a quiet corner and, with radio at least, pop a jacket over my head as an impromptu sound break.

The hardest part about being a single parent is doing everything with no one to share the load with and no one else with whom to divide tasks. There’s a lot of pressure on me as the sole earner too, as well as juggling all the weekday tasks. When the boys do go to their dad’s every other weekend, I really enjoy the downtime. I think I am slightly scarred from the days of single parenting during lockdown, so when they are not there I am always out and about – either travelling or enjoying time with friends.

Because there are great swathes of the day during which I am concentrating on getting the boys ready, picked up, exercised and fed, my working day usually starts again after I have made dinner. I will flick through my phone while they have friends round or play with them online and answer messages and spend time on social media. Bedtime is also another challenge – again doing it all on my own. But once they’re in bed I will again do a few messages and social media work on my phone rather than watch anything on TV. I do love my work so I’m happy to spend the time on it in the evenings.

My biggest piece of advice would be to use back-up when you can – it really does take a village. I have a very sociable home and am always happy to be the house that the kids invite their friends back to. But I am also lucky to have great parents who although in their 80s and living in Spain often fly over to help out for a few weeks when needed. I also have a great circle of friends and we all pitch in and help each other out. Recently, some of us went on holiday together and that was also a game changer – the kids having friends to hang out with and adults having other adults to socialise with is the perfect combination.”

Lisa, freelance journalist, travel expert and mum of two children aged 12 and nine

“Not one day is the same! If my son, Ayush, has a cricket class at school, we start early. We get up at around 6.45am. Then it’s a quick breakfast – either a bacon sandwich or simple cornflakes for Ayush and then he gets ready in his school PE kit for the cricket session which starts at 7.30am. School is only a five-minute drive at that time of the morning, so it’s an easy drop.

Once I am back home, I grab breakfast and freshen up for work. I work from my studio at home and generally catch up on my emails and deadlines first. Then I have my morning coffee and start on my design projects and orders. Being my own boss entails wearing multiple hats. I divide my work hours around PR pitches, planning social media posts and videos, updating my website, photography, contacting my existing stockists for reorders and pitching to new stockists for future orders. I also plan for upcoming craft fairs or exhibitions that are aligned with my designs and ethos.

Ayush usually walks home from school around 3.30pm. Once he is back, I prepare some light snacks for him to eat and relax. After freshening up, he enjoys playing with his Lego or toys in his game room followed by some leisurely reading. He is chatty and enjoys sharing his day with me in detail. I love that part of the day. If I can’t give him the time at that point, I always make sure I go back and ask him about his day later that evening. This is the special moment of bonding that I treasure the most.

Being a small independent artist, my work does not follow traditional parameters. I switch off my computer and start family time after 6pm. Once my husband is back from work, we share hot drinks in our garden together. We enjoy gardening and Ayush plays outside while I’m looking after our plants. Sometimes he cycles to the nearest park and plays with his ball.

In the evening, it’s generally our relaxing time to recharge our batteries, but first I split time between preparing dinner and helping Ayush with his studies. I love sitting down with him and teaching him maths, science and geography. This is our mother-son bonding time. We have our dinner at around 8pm and after that, Ayush will watch TV or play with his friends on his XBox. I try to limit screen time and he is not allowed to play on his XBox every day, but it is his free time to decide what to do.

I, on the other hand, start on my latest orders while relaxing in front of the television. My husband and I enjoy action movies or thrillers and catch up on some new series on Netflix. I love making my jewellery as it’s my passion and I find it relaxing. 

Paulomi, artist and mum of one child aged 13

“I vastly underestimate how long anything takes when it comes to the mornings! Now my children are a bit older, mornings are less frantic than they used to be, but there’s always the possibility of last-minute delays thanks to a lost or forgotten PE kit, homework, coat, bag or shoe (never shoes plural, always just the one).

Honestly, since I started working at the school next door to my daughter’s, I’ve become a lot better at time management in the mornings because I’ve had to. Before this, I was always the mum hustling their child sideways through the school gates just before they closed with an apologetic grimace. I started working as a music specialist at an infant and nursery school three years ago and combine this with work as a freelance journalist and communications director for a local charity.

Once my working day at school begins. I go from being Mum to Mrs Todd in five minutes and it’s the biggest shift in energy – both emotionally and physically. Our class sizes average 30 children and they are all full of beans from the minute they start their day. Having moved from a mostly sedentary job, I honestly don’t notice the time until about 11.50am and then it’s lunchtime. After that, it’s often 3pm before I check the time and we’re nearly at home time.

I love being able to walk out of the school at 3.30pm and not take anything with me or feel that I’m somehow being a ‘part-timer’. From the minute I’ve picked up my daughter and she’s telling me about her day, I’ve completely left ‘work mode’ behind and gone from Mrs Todd back to Mum.

Small acts of kindness make all the difference. I’ve been so very lucky with my bosses. Thanks to them, there have been many, many times when I’ve been able to attend an open afternoon, a special assembly or anything that means the world to my children if I can be there.

I think you find your mum ‘tribe’ and if you’re lucky, you discover them quite early on into motherhood. They are the emotional and mental safety net for getting me through everything – good and bad – with the kind of shared honesty that is also full of love. I have friends I’ve met through my children being at school and a good number of ‘aunties’ in name only, who have all been an incredibly positive influence on me and my children.

I couldn’t do what I do without the support of my husband, my mother-in-law and my mum. They are always there for me, with love and biscuits, and it means the world.”

Sarah, music teacher, freelance journalist, communications director and mum of two children aged 12 and nine

Maltesers®, in partnership with Comic Relief, is working towards a future where women no longer face injustice. Together, we’re working to lighten the load for working mums and help women thrive. For links to additional support and to find out more about what Maltesers® are doing to ease the load click here. 

Mars Wrigley is donating £500,000 in 2024 to Comic Relief, operating name of Charity Projects, registered charity in England & Wales (326568) and Scotland (SC039730).