Most of us probably imagined that once we’d left our teens behind, we’d also have abandoned the friendship cliques that so often dominated those years. The days of cold stares across the lunch hall, whispered note passing and selective party invite lists would, we hoped, be a thing of the past. But petty cliques don’t always disappear when we reach adulthood; in fact, in many offices, exclusive cliques are still commonplace.  

A decade ago, New Girl explored the work clique phenomenon in an episode called Nerd. After starting at a new school, Jess finds herself excluded by the cool group of teachers. However, when she finally gets invited into the inner circle, she finds herself under pressure to be ‘cool’ – and this, apparently, means breaking into her boss’s jacuzzi. Obviously not an ideal move in terms of career progression.

Friends also tackled the work clique in an episode where Rachel found herself constantly excluded from work opportunities because she wasn’t part of the smokers’ clique. 

As both shows demonstrate, you’re either in or you’re out – but either way, the group is probably going to affect your ability to do your job. We spoke to several people who have experienced the different sides of the work cliques, and to Dr Becky Spelman, a psychologist and founder of Private Therapy Clinic, to find out just how much work cliques really affect us.

Jesse*, a 27-year-old from London, was so affected by a work clique that they had to leave their job. “The clique was always talking about people, always had someone to bitch about – I know because I’d sometimes happen to hear them talking or even tag along to drinks after work, even though that’s when I’d feel the most left out,” Jesse says.

Although Jesse tried to get into the clique for a while, they soon realised there “was no way in” and started avoiding them, having lunch alone at their desk or even skipping it altogether.

“My work suffered… not the quality of it, but the motivation behind it. I didn’t feel like it mattered anymore, and all I wanted to do was finish my days and not go back to work at the end,” they said. “I didn’t feel supported by the managers whom I’d confided in, those whom I’d officially complained to, so it felt odd to continue wanting to work for those people. Doing a job that you’re so passionate about when you’re not respected is gut-wrenching.

“I decided to look for another job, and also decided to stop going into the office altogether,” Jesse says. “I have developed alopecia because of the stress that job caused me. It took me about two months to feel at ease again because of how that clique made me feel.”

Soma Ghosh, from London, also found her work suffered after she was excluded from a clique that included her own manager. 

“I was working as a temp, and although everyone was friendly, I noticed everyone had their own banter and little cliques,” she says. “Sometimes I would notice some of my colleagues would go out to lunch but not invite me.”

Then, she found out she was excluded from the office Christmas party.

“Only one of the ladies there was really nice. During a break one day, she asked me if I was coming to the Christmas dinner next week,” she says. “Instead of saying I hadn’t been invited, I told her I had other plans, as I was a bit embarrassed to not be invited.”

On the day of the party, her manager sent her home early. “When I came into work the next day they were all discussing how awesome the Christmas party was,” she says. “I felt really left out and it felt so cliquey.”

Things got even worse when a new staff member was hired and was given Soma’s work. “I then had to go to another manager and do the work that no one else wanted to do,” she says.

Others choose to actively avoid cliques for the sake of their careers. Corene Hippolyte-Newman, a 34-year-old freelancer in London, has learned over years of working in different offices that it’s rarely worth getting involved with cliques.

“As a freelancer, I would often join in for short periods of time in different workspaces,” Corene says. “When I first joined a London PR agency, I would instantly assess the friend groups and table cliques during lunchtime as that’s the time everyone would branch off. As a newbie, sometimes you don’t want to seem antisocial but some workspaces can make you work hard to join in on the cliques if they aren’t open and welcoming straight off the bat.” 

Instead of spending her time trying to get in, she was happy to stay on the outside. 

“I never cared to be a part of a clique. I’d end up making friends with the one person who doesn’t care for cliques either,” she says. “I definitely felt left out, but I wasn’t too bothered if I’m honest. I did definitely see a divide [when it came to who was in cliques] with other non-white colleagues. I was happy with the select friends, for sure.”

For Leah*, a 29-year-old who used to temp at different offices in London, it was joining a clique that led to trouble. 

“I’ve worked at a number of offices. At one, I met a group of girls who honestly seemed super nice,” she says. “We became friends and always lunched together and went for drinks together.”

Although Leah liked having work friends, the other women had a tendency to encourage Leah to take a more relaxed approach to her work than she was comfortable with. 

“They were constantly trying to get me to go for long lunches and to stay out late drinking after work,” she says. “My work definitely suffered as I was often late or hungover. At my next job, I realised that I had to be more careful about certain groups.”

Although we may think that cliques are a very ‘high school’ phenomenon, they can often form in adulthood, too. Often, they begin for very harmless reasons.

“Human beings have an inherent need for connection and belonging, which can drive the formation of social groups,” Spelman says. “Cliques often form when individuals discover that they have shared interests, backgrounds, or values, and they can provide a sense of familiarity and understanding.” 

In fact, there’s nothing inherently wrong with social groups. In many ways, they can offer plenty of positives – at least for those who are a part of them. 

“Cliques can offer emotional support, a sense of identity and protection in challenging work environments and may be built around individuals in positions of power or influence,” she says. “This can provide those involved with access to new opportunities, fairly or unfairly.”

“The psychological impact of a clique can be significant,” Spelman says. 

While those who are ‘in’ get a sense of “belonging, support, and validation”, those on the outside can experience “feelings of isolation, exclusion, and lowered self-esteem”. 

In turn, being excluded from a work clique can have a direct impact on your mental health.

“Exclusion can create a hostile work environment and contribute to stress, anxiety and decreased job satisfaction,” she says. 

It’s important to note that cliques can also contribute to a harmful exclusionary workplace culture: “Cliques can also perpetuate biases and hinder diversity and inclusion efforts. Therefore, it is crucial for organisations to address cliques, promote inclusivity, and build a supportive and collaborative workplace environment to alleviate these psychological effects,” she says.

When your mental health is affected by a clique, your career can suffer as a result. Plus, if you are actively excluded from a clique, you may find your job is also harder to do on a practical level. 

“A clique can impact your ability to do your job by creating a distraction from work, barriers to collaboration and communication, and access to resources,” says Spelman. “Exclusion and favouritism within a clique can hinder teamwork, limit information sharing and create a hostile work environment, affecting productivity and job satisfaction.”

Working in an office that has a strong, tight-knit clique can be tricky. Sometimes, it can even prove to be impossible. 

Spelman recommends trying to form individual connections with your colleagues so that you aren’t hindered in your work.

“Quite often, less is more, so focus on building relationships with colleagues outside of the clique, seeking common ground and growing meaningful connections,” she says. “Participate in team activities when they arise and contribute valuable insights to those around you.” 

If a clique begins to have a negative impact on your mental health or your ability to do your job, however, it’s vital that you speak to someone who can help.

“If you have any concerns about exclusion or favouritism, seek support from HR, mentors or supervisors,” Spelman says.

After all, your office should never feel like a place where you aren’t welcome.

Images: Getty