I’m sure you already know how stressful work is for a lot of people right now. I mean, there’s the normal stress — whether that’s from coworkers, clients or past-due projects — and then add that to all the extra stuff as a result of ’quiet quitting’ and ’quiet firing’.

With large numbers of people getting laid off in the UK this year, those who are still employed may have to handle all the extra work, potentially without any additional pay. As that person, you’re expected to juggle a lot, which means keeping up with your wellness has probably become increasingly difficult.

Besides the regular burnout you may be facing, there’s also something called ‘resilience burnout’. Jasmine Eskenzi, CEO and founder of wellbeing and productivity app The Zensory, describes it as “the crossover between toxic positivity and burnout” that’s perpetuated by hustle culture. “It’s attempting to be positive, motivated and/or stoic under pressure, for a prolonged period of time, and suffering exhaustion/burnout as a result,” she says. In other words, what doesn’t kill you doesn’t necessarily make you stronger, as the saying goes. 

Diana Pereda, a mindset and business coach and the in-house psychologist at Stafi, believes this comes down to the pressure we feel. “Resilience fatigue is a recently mentioned type of exhaustion that comes after a prolonged period of having to stay motivated or positive,” she says.

Further, she understands that we may choose positivity as the simple solution, but life and emotions aren’t that easy – and can add to the problem. “Maintaining a continuous positive attitude is unrealistic and requires effort,” she notes. “It can reach a point when it feels like another task to handle.”

If you’ve noticed signs that you’re continuing to push through despite exhaustion, attempting to appear motivated when you’re actually not and forcing yourself to act ‘tough’, you may be in a state of resilience fatigue. Many pieces could be at play here, including:

Coworkers getting laid off or quitting

Employees may experience this phenomenon at any point when they feel pushed to keep going, but it may be more prominent now. “As we teeter on the edge of a recession and live through the phenomenon of the great resignation,” Eskenzi says, “those who are left behind are having to put on a brave face while they take on the workload of their former colleagues, often without any additional compensation or support.”

A combination of work and life stressors

Our work life and our life life don’t exist in a vacuum. As we saw with Covid, the two often intersect and can hurt us in similar ways. Pereda points to “health problems, financial problems, heavy workloads, lack of purpose and connection to others, and a lack of meaningful relationships” as other major contributing factors.

The pressure that comes with technology

The fact we can basically communicate at all hours, thanks to email and phones, makes it feel like you’re never completely off the clock. “We live in an age where everyone is expected to be switched on 24/7, and our ‘busy’ lives can lead us to feel in a constant state of overwhelm,” Eskenzi explains. And when this is met with inadequate rest and recalibration, she adds, resilience fatigue can accumulate.

A reluctance to feel our feelings

It’s totally understandable to feel that talking about your emotions, mental health and human needs is taboo in the workplace. At the same time, that vibe isn’t helpful — which is especially important for employers to know and address.

Pereda validates how much of a struggle this can be. “Being sad or worried now has the connotation of being unproductive when it comes to meeting goals at work,” she says. “We are afraid of adding more problems to the current ones, and showing our emotions can have a negative outcome with regard to keeping our source of income.”

Given the barriers and the fast pace of work and everyday life, she explains we may turn to “quick fixes”… that ultimately don’t work, unfortunately. “We are trying to solve a complex emotional situation with simple positive and motivational solutions we find on social media, a quick conversation or in a three-minute motivational video.”

Having to ‘mask’

We must remember that neurodivergent folks are even more likely to struggle with this type of fatigue “due to the constant ‘masking’ that has to be undertaken to survive and thrive in most workplaces”, Eskenzi emphasises.

Basically, those individuals have to hide or suppress their neurodivergent traits — whether that’s struggling with time management, organisational skills or something else — which can exacerbate feelings of tiredness and burnout.

If thinking about all of this makes you feel hopeless, know that you’re not alone. That’s a normal and understandable reaction, especially with all the pressure that companies, organisations and capitalism in general put on us.

So what can you do?

Set boundaries where you can

In a job setting, you may feel like ‘setting boundaries’ is a quick way to get fired. That’s valid, and changes need to be made sometimes. “We have to start by giving ourselves permission to stop and fully recover,” Eskenzi urges.

She encourages brainstorming some boundaries you feel more confident about putting in place, whether that’s turning off notifications after work hours or getting off social media on the weekends.

Get vulnerable with loved ones you trust

Nurturing your relationships is key, Pereda says. “To have someone we can be vulnerable to and have a true, honest connection with will bring you the space to live all types of emotions,” she says, encouraging you to be that person for your loved one, too. Talk about what you’re going through, what you’re feeling and what you need. 

Feel your feelings

Avoiding difficult emotions can be incredibly tempting, but it’s not always helpful. Pereda recommends digging deep. What are you feeling?

“Let yourself grieve your losses; open the space to sadness, anger or any other emotion,” she says. If you struggle to connect with your emotions, don’t worry — this ‘skill’ can be developed and learned, she adds, encouraging professional help if needed.

Write down your stressors (and other perspectives)

If you ever find yourself unable to keep up with all your to-do list items and stressors, consider recording them, then leaving a space by each one so you can write how to address the situation later. “The act of writing them down can help us put them into context and find practical solutions to move forward,” Eskenzi explains.

One important reminder: The ‘right’ solution might not be the one that comes first. “Sometimes, we are caught with the very same thoughts or solutions to our problems,” Pereda says. “Turning the problem upside down can give you other perspectives.” This might look like talking to trustworthy loved ones and getting their opinions, she adds.

Through this write-it-all-down process, you can (literally) get your stressors out.

Practise self-compassion

That’s right, a little self-love and grace can go a long way. “Giving ourselves self-compassion can be one of the most undervalued and yet most powerful ways to handle resilience fatigue,” Eskenzi says. She encourages listening to your body and paying attention to what you’re experiencing. Do you need a break? Some time alone? Something else? Give yourself time to recover — without guilt or shame.

Images: Getty