You can eagerly hop into a job with ironclad boundaries and dedication to a proper work/life balance, but if you’re met with a boss that thinks work is an all-consuming pursuit, all those good intentions can be left in the dust. 

You set an out of office, your manager will still email you… and expect a response. You declare to yourself that you’ll close your laptop at 5pm on the dot, then a meeting invite springs up for 5.30. You know that if you complain about having too much on, those in charge will gesture at their own gigantic workload as if it’s entirely normal. This is the reality of working with someone who’s a total workaholic, and if you’re not careful, their overworking tendencies can bleed into your approach to your job. 

The inevitable result of that? Burnout. 

“Burnout is an epidemic that shows no signs of abating,” executive coach Dr Mandy Lehto tells Stylist. “In a survey of over 10,000 global workers by Future Forum in February 2023, 42% reported burnout – an all-time high since May 2021. Our ‘always on’ culture, tricky transitions to remote working and residual stress from the pandemic are all factors but, often, it’s the people we work with, or for, that have the biggest impact on our wellbeing. 

“If your boss is a compulsive workaholic with ridiculous expectations, is it possible to protect yourself from burnout? When Dominic Raab resigned amid bullying claims it was reported that he’d put “unreasonable pressure” on civil servants and regularly worked from 7.30am till 10pm most weekdays himself. While Raab might be an extreme example, even well-meaning leaders can create cultures with no ‘give’ in the system where unrelenting deadlines, out-of-hours emails and weekend work become the norm. In this toxic environment, it can feel hugely daunting to communicate your need to slow down, particularly if your boss operates like a machine and expects the team to follow suit.”

The bad news is that resisting the urge to copy your boss’s unhealthy habits can be tricky. The good news is that it is possible. How do we protect ourselves from hightailing towards burnout when our boss is clearly on a similar path? How do we start to reassert boundaries that our managers have previously crossed? Lehto shares some essential steps ahead. 

The first step in tackling the impact of a workaholic boss is recognising the issue. 

“There’s a subtle difference between high expectations and workaholism so start by looking at your boss’s behaviour objectively to see what’s really going on,” Lehto recommends. “If they’re always looking for ways to improve, that can be positive and motivating but only if they pause to celebrate the wins and acknowledge other peoples’ hard work. If your boss is never satisfied no matter how good the outcome, it’s usually a sign of extreme perfectionism.

“Other warning signs of a workaholic boss include rarely taking a day off, responding to calls and emails around the clock, having a short temper and being defensive about any sort of feedback. If your boss fits this profile, don’t glorify their skewed work ethic, instead take steps to protect yourself from the damaging effects of their adrenaline fuelled perma-urgency.”

“Identify what bothers you the most about your boss’s behaviour,” Lehto says. “Is it the deluge of emails they send outside of working hours, the last-minute project requests that require caffeine-fuelled late nights to complete or their tendency to obsessively micro-manage and criticise your work? These are stress-inducing, controlling behaviours that can quickly stifle your passion for your job as well as making you feel that you’re never on top of your workload. 

“The more specific you are about exactly what needs to change, the more likely you are to get the outcome you want.”

It can help to keep a written tracker of what’s going on and how it’s impacting you, so it’s clear to see that your boss’s workaholic tendencies don’t only affect her. Really dig in to the problem: is it that your boss stays late every night, or is it that while she’s doing this, she adds even more to your to-do list for the next day?

To guard yourself from your boss’s work addiction, it’s vital your own defences are rock solid. 

Lehto recommends: “Consider what non-negotiable boundaries you need to put in place to achieve better work-life balance. This might mean protecting family and leisure time with no calls after 5pm and no emails at weekends. Or perhaps a ‘bums on seats’ mentality is grinding you down and your sanity would be saved by the option to work from home two days a week. Alternatively, you might find that changing the rhythm of your days would have the biggest impact on your wellbeing, whether that means managing the sheer volume of work, spending less time in unnecessary meetings, getting clearer on priorities, having time for professional development or being able to stretch your creative wings.”

“Set up a meeting with your boss and be prepared to express your needs assertively and respectfully,” advises Lehto. “They’re not a mind reader so accept that what you have to say may come as a surprise. If your boss is under a lot of pressure themselves, they might not have realised that you’re skating close to burnout. Have the courage to be open and honest, highlighting the benefits that a better work-life balance will have on your productivity, energy levels and motivation.”

Try to have this conversation without expressing harsh judgment on your boss. A gentler approach is best, highlighting the benefits of a better work/life balance for everyone. And really explain why these boundaries matter, and how they’ll help you work better. A workaholic might baulk at the idea that you want to work less or prioritise your mental health above business needs – their views on work are likely deeply entrenched, so anything that challenges them can feel like an attack. It can help to explain that you’re not coming from a place of criticism; but that you need a different way of working, and that they could do with the same. 

“Be crystal clear about the boundaries you need to put in place but offer up areas where you could compromise or be flexible,” Lehto suggests. “Perhaps you could volunteer to take responsibility for managing the monthly networking event that gives your boss a headache, while requesting a flexible finish on Fridays. If your boss is amenable to your suggestions, come up with a plan together and stay in regular communication as you put your new boundaries in place.

“Standing up for yourself takes courage and confidence but these are desirable traits that good employers should value in their staff. Your wired and exhausted boss might even learn a thing or two from a different way of working but only if they’re prepared to be open-minded. If your boss is unreceptive to change despite your best efforts to communicate, it might be time to speak to HR or consider an exit strategy. Protecting your integrity and mental health should always come first.”

Dr Mandy Lehto is a former investment banker turned executive coach and the host of Enough, The Podcast. 

Images: Getty