So you’ve recognised some of the signs of professional love-bombing and are convinced it’s happening to you, but what can you actually do about it?

Ask for regular – and official – feedback

According to Elma O’Reilly, a HR consultant and founder of Parallel London, if the problem is a boss that tells you one thing, but acts entirely differently, one of the most important things you can do is request regular feedback in a formal setting, such as a review or through personal development sessions. “At a bare minimum, you should have time in your manager’s diary once every quarter that you can use to discuss your own self-development on-the-record,” she explains. “This shouldn’t be a social chat: instead, use the time to really hone in on what it is you want to achieve and how you would like your boss to help you get there. That way, you’re not just relying on their meaningless promises that ‘something will come up for you soon’ – and you should be able to get some clarity on the real reasons why you’re not reaching your goals.” And if you yourself are a manager, remember that the best kind of feedback is honest, clear and helpful, and builds someone up without fawning or making false promises.

Keep a sunshine folder

If you’re not able to avoid them entirely, Singh suggests that a good way to deal with a love-bombing boss is to keep a ‘sunshine’ folder, aka a digital or physical space to record all your positive feedback and wins at work, from client comments to praise you’ve received in meetings from other team members. That way, the next time you feel your confidence being chipped away at, you have an easily accessible reminder of just how competent you actually are – even if your direct superior refuses to acknowledge it. It also doubles as a great evidence log for if you do want to dispute your lack of promotions, too.

Focus on your own reflections

Finally, O’Reilly adds: “While what your manager thinks about you is obviously important, don’t disregard your own reflections on how you’re getting on. What do you think is going well? What would you like to improve on? How can you fulfil your role better? If you can’t rely on a boss for accurate feedback on how you’re doing, trust your own instincts and intuition to help you to feel happier, more confident and more fulfilled at work.”

Constantly praised but never promoted: how workplace ‘love-bombing’ became the new boss behaviour threatening our careers