Jobs come and go, but work besties are for life – at least, that’s what we’d love to think. Sadly, not every work best friend sticks around. As our career paths take us in different directions, most of us will probably lose a few great friends in the process. 

Whether your friend is moving to a new department, a new job or even a new city, saying goodbye to the person who saw you through all of the lunch breaks, boring Zooms and morning coffees can be surprisingly difficult. After all, a work bestie isn’t just a great friend – they can also become a massive support to us at work, helping us through tough days in the office. 

If you’re about to lose your best friend at work, you may be worried about what happens next. How will you through the day without them? We spoke to career coach Alison Blackler at 2minds about how to cope with losing them.

We all need friends at work

Work friendships are important – not just for our mental health, but also for our actual careers.

“Humans are social creatures and wired to connect,” Blackler says. “There are great benefits from having friendships at work and losing a bestie at work can be difficult.”

For one thing, having a good friend at work can help us feel more engaged and accepted at work. In turn, this can improve our attitude towards our job and our mental health at work. In fact, in 2018, Gallup published research that illustrated that “those who [have a best friend at work] are seven times as likely to be engaged in their jobs”.

Plus, having a work bestie around can encourage you to do your best work.

“When team members get to know each other, they can bring out the best in each other, encourage each other’s strengths and often support any weaknesses,” she says.

A work best friend can even help you get through tough times at work or at home.

“It is hard to hide any challenges from a true friend, which means they are less likely to struggle alone and, in fact, feel alone with any problems – whether this is inside work or a more personal matter,” she says.

Losing a bestie can be destabilising

Considering just how vital work friends are, it’s no surprise that losing one can be pretty hard to handle. In fact, you might even find yourself grieving. “The mind can process it as a loss,” Blackler says.

You might find your mental health takes a hit. You may feel lonely, lost or even stressed. 

“[A work friend] may encourage you to get through a day,” she says. “The connection can relieve stress and pressure with laughter and light release. We are more likely to encourage each other to go for lunch or take a break, which is good for your mental health and general wellbeing.”

You might also find yourself feeling more out of place with the rest of your colleagues.

“When someone leaves, there can be a big gap and a sense that no one else understands you,” Blackler notes. “Close-knit team members are more likely to problem-solve and creativity can flow when they share a physical space. These can be ‘kitchen’ or ‘photocopier’ conversations where they are more like to innovate and share best ideas.” 

How to cope with the new normal

Sadly, people come and go in offices, and if your work bestie has decided it’s time to move on, you shouldn’t try to stop them.

Let yourself grieve

The first step is to really let yourself feel whatever you are feeling. “It is important to acknowledge and accept the emotional feelings of grief, and take time to settle,” suggests Blackler. “There can be feelings of loneliness and stress as your go-to person is not there.”

Seek out opportunities to build an out-of-work friendship

Just because your work bestie is moving on from your workplace, you can still be friends! If it’s possible, make plans with your work friend outside of the office.

Be patient

While you may tempted to seek out an immediate replacement for your friend, don’t rush out and start trying to force another strong connection in the office. Sit with how you’re feeling and let connections happen naturally.

Treat the change as an opportunity

Finally, even though losing a work bestie is hard, it can also hold some positives, too. In fact, it could even be a chance to start a new work chapter.

“Sometimes we get too comfy with people and then we’re not developing ourselves,” says Blackler. “A change at work could be seen as a new time to push yourself, talk to other people, ask questions. Maybe you can see that you have been holding yourself back with a safe friendship and this could be a great time to stretch yourself. Different people give and show us different things so being curious about what this change could bring.”

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Images: Getty