Imagine turning up to work every day and being greeted by smiles and positivity. Your boss regularly showers you with praise, colleagues never take credit for your work and you’re never told you’re not doing a good enough job. Sounds idyllic, right? 

However, according to psychologist and New York University professor Tessa West, an overly friendly workplace might be just as big a red flag as a toxic one. 

We know that many workplaces, across a number of industries, have a culture problem. According to a 2023 Fortune survey, 64% of respondents say they have experienced a toxic work environment, with 44% blaming leadership for the negative experiences. However, perhaps as a response to the Great Resignation and push towards better work-life balance, many companies are moving to the other extreme of “a culture of niceness”.

“There has been a huge push around wellbeing and niceness at work – being kind, empathic and caring – which are obviously good traits to have,” West told CNBC Make It. “But what ends up happening is, we’ve somehow pitted niceness against clear communication and confrontation, even when it’s necessary.” However, as West explains, nice doesn’t always mean better: “Sometimes nice is a cop-out.”

Of course, most of us would agree that a workplace is clearly toxic when it is disrespectful, non-inclusive, unethical, cutthroat or abusive. But that doesn’t mean that the opposite has to be all rainbows and sunshine.

Emphasising the importance of a safe space for critical feedback and conversations, West suggests that not shying away from both receiving and giving honest feedback is an “absolutely essential ingredient” for career development. Instead, West likens it to toxic positivity – where employees are expected to always maintain an optimistic and productive mindset, even in a bad situation. 

How to tell if your workplace is ‘too nice’

For West, the biggest tell-tale sign of a ’too nice’ workplace is when there is an abundance of “friendly overtures”, the generic platitudes that can be applied to anybody without actually engaging with the individual. Saying someone is “lovely”, “great to work with” or a “good sport” as opposed to offering honest insight into both their strengths and weaknesses is a major red flag in her eyes.

Similarly, when companies are afraid to be direct with their employees, a culture of niceness could also manifest in the form of passive aggressiveness, where bad intentions are masked by smiles. “Ironically, the biggest way to destroy psychological safety is through a culture of niceness, because you don’t really know what anyone actually thinks,” explains West.

Micromanaging and too much critique are never a healthy combination, but neither is a lack of direction and no idea about whether you’re on the right track.

Therefore, not only will a ‘too nice’ workplace damage your psychological safety, it can be detrimental to your career too. If you’re never sure if you’re doing a good job or your boss is too afraid to pull you up, you may start to doubt your suitability for the role.

If you want to break free from a culture of nice, West suggests starting by asking for honest, constructive feedback for yourself. “At the end of the day, none of us can improve without critical feedback – you won’t get better at your job and you won’t learn how to manage people better,” she explains. “Critical feedback isn’t ‘I don’t like what you did, this is bad.’ Critical feedback is, ‘This is the way that you did it. Let’s talk about how you can do it better.’” And it’s time we learn to embrace it properly.

Images: Getty