Hands up if you can relate: you obsess about your boss’s feedback for weeks after your performance review, you’re glued to your work messages during evenings and weekends, you problem-solve work tasks in your free time or you overthink a tense interaction with a colleague even hours later. Oh, and you’re completely exhausted.

If your hand is in the air for all of the above, chances are, you’re a high-performing leader. Whether you’re responsible for an entire team of direct reports or you’re stepping into a people manager role for the first time, let’s face it: it’s heavy. Having a leadership position at work comes with high expectations and even higher stress levels. And for women, the stakes are even higher, as women hold only 40% of manager positions according to McKinsey’s latest Women in the Workplace report.

So it’s only natural to do as much as you possibly can to be available to your team or manager, including keeping one eye on your work notifications after hours or dwelling on work issues long after quitting time. But it might surprise you – and come as a relief – that the true key to becoming a better leader for your team members is to stop working so much.

New research found that fully detaching from work leads to better work outcomes for leaders, as compared to those who ruminate over work. In the study, leaders who psychologically separated from their work identified more strongly with their role as a leader the next day because they felt more recuperated. This then influenced their transformational behaviours and leadership power as rated by their teams, whereas leaders who dwelled on work afterwards felt more depleted and therefore were less effective leaders on the clock.

That’s why time away from work is extremely important for leaders to perform successfully in the long run.

If you raised your hand at the beginning of this article, the good news is you’re not alone. High performers have several traits they share, including ambition, a strong work ethic and a relentlessness towards achieving their goals. But there’s a catch – they also are more susceptible to singularly focusing on their careers, pushing themselves too hard and burning out.

“High performers tend to be technically competent, but that doesn’t lead to high performance over the long term,” said leadership coach Aimee Young. “Some of the most effective people are those who have a deep understanding of themselves, how they work best and what triggers them,” she said. 

For the workhorse team manager looking to prove herself, putting down the cart might seem like a career mistake. What if your new hire needs help or your boss is missing a data point for an important presentation? And in the bigger picture, what if you’re seen as less committed to the company or overlooked for a promotion because you took your foot off the gas?

But rest is crucial for continuous high performance.

“There is an immense pressure put on leaders, especially post-pandemic, to be more for their people. We can’t do this if we don’t rest. It increases our creativity and agility and restores cognitive performance, helping us make strategic decisions. You’re more productive when you’re rested and less prone to burnout,” Young explained.

Subira Jones, now a burnout prevention consultant in London, experienced her first burnout when she was only 16 years old – and her next burnout led to her multiple sclerosis diagnosis.

“I didn’t know I was burning out. At work I was still engaging, performing and excelling. Outside of work, I was going to the gym six times a week, plant-based, meditating and going on holidays with the girls,” Subira said. “I thought I had created the perfect work-life balance until, one day, I went to bed with the flu and the next morning I woke up with no feeling in my lower body.

“The reality was that I was miserable and unfulfilled. I had been in a four-year burnout cycle that started when I completed my economics degree while my mum was in a coma, and worsened when I began my career in investment just days after her funeral. Being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis was the pinnacle of my burnout experience,” she shared.

Looking back on that period in her life, Subira says she wishes she had slowed down more. “The key to my sustainable success is rest,” she said.

“There’s nothing wrong with enjoying the thrill that comes with a high-pressure job and a desire to climb the corporate ladder. The problem arises when that high-pressure job is coupled with a high-stress lifestyle or is feeding your need for self-worth,” Subira explained.

Young shares her tips below on how to separate from your high-pressure job and strike that elusive work-life balance – without endangering your professional reputation or prospects for success.

• Learn to say no. Be selective in what you take on and consider opportunities for others who you can bring in to support you.
• Physically separate from your tech. Consider removing Slack/Teams and emails from your phone. Turn off work notifications, use snooze mode and shut down your laptop at the end of the day so you’re not tempted to peek at messages after hours.
• Connect with something outside of work that’s just for you. Whether it’s a restorative pilates session, pottery class or Friday pub quiz, regularly doing something you love centres your focus completely on yourself, fills your cup and gives you something to look forward to.
• Communication is key. Setting boundaries at work means defining clear expectations around working hours and on-call availability with your manager. Be clear and assertive about your needs.
• Consistency is crucial. Your work reputation comes from the level of trust you create with your colleagues. To build trust at work, form patterns and follow through. For example, if you don’t want to be contacted at 10pm, don’t respond to late messages until the next morning. On the flip side, be reliable to deliver the work you commit to.

So go take a break while you step into your peak leadership potential – your team and your future self will thank you.

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Images: Getty