The seventh myth is that people don’t really want or need feedback. This myth is upheld by the misconception that people know when they’re not at their best and when they are. When not at their best, they don’t want someone else coming along and pointing it out, and when they are at their best, they know they’re doing a good job so don’t need to be told.

Likewise, if people don’t act on feedback (and remember, they don’t have to), the provider can start to think ‘What’s the point of giving it?’ and they end up doing it less. The receiver then thinks ‘They don’t give or like giving me feedback, so what’s the point of asking?’ Back to the provider, who then says to themselves ‘They don’t ask for feedback; they probably don’t want it.’ And so they both go round in circles, conveniently avoiding each other and the topic of feedback.

When this myth plays out in behaviour, it often leads to feelings of neglect.

Based on the participants in my studies, people do want feedback; they just don’t want badly delivered, unclear or low-quality feedback. They want feedback that supports them in accomplishing their goals, helps them grow and provides meaningful recognition for their contributions in a timely way. The more these myths are left to play out over time, the further embedded into an organisation’s culture they become. These myths become truths and, as we see them potentially role modelled by providers and receivers of feedback around us, we’re more likely to copy them rather than take a moment to question them.

Given that myths a that myths and beliefs aren’t factually accurate, that they may be limiting beliefs and have a strong influence on your behaviour, the question to ask yourself now is: how do I really know what I think I know about feedback?

These are the 7 myths that are preventing you from giving (and receiving) good feedback