“I get on well with my boss but she’s quite a big personality, so her mood tends to impact everyone else’s. This is a great thing when she’s bubbly and light, but when she gets stressed, it’s like a grey cloud appears over our office. I understand that she has a taxing job, both mentally and emotionally, but I feel like as a leader she should do a better job of managing it for the sake of her employees. Is there any way I can let her know what an impact she’s having without overstepping?”

The clue here is in the word ‘boss’. It is pretty inevitable that a leader’s moods – both good and bad – will trickle down to colleagues and, on some level, dictate the vibe at any given moment. Bosses are like orchestra conductors and it’s worth remembering that the one who shows emotions will also most likely be the leader who has the ability to unlock potential and inspire great teamwork.

You’re right, of course, that in an ideal world, this woman’s stress would not pervade the whole office, but remind yourself that she is just another flawed human being who occasionally succumbs to bad days. In other words, I would urge you to give this woman a break.

As someone who gets along well with your boss, you are nicely positioned to offer support. In addition to the usual friendly offers of getting her a coffee, you could offer a straightforward, “You seem a bit stressed – what can I do to help?” This isn’t about asking or telling your boss not to be stressed. Instead, it is about the way she’s performing her stress visibly and in a manner that’s impacting others. 

A considerate yet relatively low-level approach such as this should immediately stop your boss in her tracks, helping her to realise how her frame of mind is affecting others. Reaching out to her without being intrusive should transmit a warm glow of collegial compassion and certainly help her to feel less isolated. If her tension is work-related, then your offer of support could remind her that she has people around who can help to ease her burden.

If your boss chooses to open up to you and explain what is making her feel anxious, then you’ll be in an even stronger position to offer constructive suggestions. Don’t forget that you can also rally the troops by suggesting that everyone backs off the boss for now and instead focuses on their own priorities. With any luck, a diligent, calm atmosphere will rub off on her and restore her to a more level temper.

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