There are few better feelings than being good at your job. There’s a sense of achievement and self-belief that comes from knowing you’re smashing it – especially if it’s also being recognised and rewarded by the people around you.

That being said, there are certain scenarios in which your confidence can take a serious knock, especially if you’re naturally more introverted. You might go for a big promotion and not get it or the opportunity you thought might result in some praise from your boss goes unnoticed, and you have to alter your expectations.

“Being an introvert and climbing the career ladder can often feel paradoxical,” explains Sarah Manley, an author and introvert career coach (an introvert herself, she helps fellow introverts to unleash their unique strengths). “If we don’t show up, speak up and ‘perform’ as expected, we, at best, become known for being the quiet one; at worst, we’re the one who has nothing to contribute, is disengaged or awkward to approach. Naturally, this leads to our self-confidence waning as we become the ones who are not asked their opinions, the ones people forget about, the ones people talk over.” 

Having to be on all the time and ‘fight your way to the top’ is, frankly, exhausting, and seeing others excel at looking so naturally confident can quickly kill your self-belief. “Feeling like we’re not good enough, not meant to be there or doubting our abilities because we’re not the loudest in the room can stifle careers,” Manley adds.

So how do you get past this if you’re a confidence-knocked introvert with big ambitions?” 

Shift your mindset around what it means to be an introvert

As Manley explains, introverts can often find themselves at the ‘surviving’ end of the professional spectrum rather than the ‘thriving’ end. “When you’ve been existing here for a while, I’ll bet your confidence is dented from uncomfortable events and feedback that has made you feel crappy, but the important thing to remember is we don’t have to give up our power,” she says.

“In the bustling world of business, extraversion often takes centre stage. As introverts, we can find ourselves navigating uncomfortable waters and even find ourselves paddling upstream. We are the quiet thinkers, the unassuming problem solvers, and the reserved strategists, too often misunderstood and underappreciated, yet our unique qualities – when understood as superpowers and used to their full potential – can lead to huge success and personal fulfilment.”

When you can, zone in on the things that give you job satisfaction, a feeling of mastery or positive comments from colleagues and try to avoid too much time spent ‘shape-shifting’ or flexing to behave in ways that are really not you.

Use feedback to build (not destroy) your confidence

According to Manley, a feedback conversation can be extremely valuable when done with the intention of truly serving the person on the receiving end. However, when done badly, these interactions can be devastating. “Managing and filtering feedback is crucial as an introvert,” she says. “A top tip here is to ‘filter filter filter’. Draw a line between what is genuine constructive feedback and what is destructive to you. Check if it is robust or just a throwaway comment and be mindful of other people trying to make you behave like them.”

It can also be useful to look for patterns rather than outliers to get a better sense of the overall themes developing in the feedback and take on board things that can help you develop. “Also make sure you give value to all the positives you hear: don’t just focus on the areas to improve; value the positives you already have. Overall, my suggestion would be to take two positive things and one thing that you want to work on from any feedback that you receive, always bearing in mind your goals. Let go of the rest,” she adds.

Try a ‘value of you’ exercise

Take a moment to write a list of your unique strengths, skills and qualities that you believe you bring to the workplace. You might include qualities like active listening, attention to detail, empathy or critical thinking. Mark a star next to those that you consider to be your superpowers – those things that you are great at and give you energy.

Then, Manley says, list your highlights and past achievements, thinking back to specific instances in your career where your strengths played a pivotal role in your success. Write down at least three examples of how your introverted qualities have benefited your teams or projects.

“Reflecting on your strengths, your impact and your value can be a really empowering and powerful exercise, and one that it may be useful to look back on in moments of hesitancy or self-doubt,” she adds. 

Images: Getty