“I don’t take myself too seriously and am always happy to be involved in some water-cooler chat, but recently I’m really struggling with how much gossip is flying around my office. It feels like everyone is always trying to be in each other’s business and I’m worried it’s creating a toxic work environment. How do I bring it up without touching any nerves?”

Office banter is generally a welcome intrusion into office life – it encourages an atmosphere of fun and inclusiveness while helping to mould a company culture. However, you are right to be a little wary when communal humour crosses into something that more resembles malicious gossip. A once lively, positive environment can indeed turn suddenly toxic. The tipping point occurs when the focus of the chat becomes spiteful. And very often it’s the vulnerable team members who become the butt of others’ tasteless jokes, usually spearheaded by one or two loudmouths who enjoy being provocative.

The good news is that most of your colleagues will share your discomfort. Let’s face it, we’ve probably all enjoyed gossiping together about celebrities like Brooklyn Beckham’s latest chef fail. It’s good clean fun and Beckham-the-younger is not exactly publicity-shy. But when office tongue-wagging is directed closer to home, say towards a colleague’s broken love affair or the yo-yo dieting of “that bloke from accounts”, the tone can quickly turn bitchy and cruel. The challenge for you and your likeminded colleagues is to stand up to the muck rakers without causing a major face-off.

It’s probably wise for you to start discreetly sounding out others in your team who you instinctively suspect will share your distaste for careless chitchat. It will embolden you to take action once you have the assurance that you’re not alone. You can agree with each other about taking a stand. It’s best to then seize your moment with a casual remark instead of fretting about making a groundbreaking speech. You just need to interject with a slight change of tone that shuts down the gossip gang and swiftly changes the subject.

A former boss of mine had brilliant deflecting tactics when she felt that the office atmosphere was turning a bit sour. If she thought someone was being overly nosy for example, she’d simply say: “Alright Nelly Needlenose. There’s nothing to see here!” and she’d change the topic to discussing our plans for the evening. She had the gift of smooth diplomacy. It was a clever way to shut someone up without overtly humiliating them. And it worked – we all learned to understand the boundary between good clean gossip and something more sinister.

The important thing to remember is that you’re sticking up for the underdog, for whoever is being gossiped about. Having right on your side will help you to be brave. Remember it’s always a good tactic simply to feign indifference to someone else’s cattiness. A little bit of “Who really cares?” and “Anyone for coffee?” should do the trick.

Images: Getty