If you were asked to describe what a ’bad boss’ looks like, how would you begin? Would you imagine a Miranda Priestly-type: cold, dismissive and impossible to please? Or would you instead picture a serial micro-manager who constantly checks in to ask for updates without giving you any real time to actually do your job? Either way, through popular culture and our own lived experiences, most of us are very familiar with what it means to have a boss you like (and one you don’t). But what about one you trust?

From a young age, we’re taught how important it is to trust people in our close proximity, such as our partners, family and friends, but does the same apply to our managers? After all, the average person spends approximately 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime, which is a lot of time alongside someone that you may not feel totally comfortable around. 

“Psychological safety – ie trusting the people around you – is the basis for any positive company culture,” explains career coach Emily Button-Lynham. “It’s about believing that it’s OK to take risks, express your ideas, speak up with any concerns and make mistakes in your career without severe consequences.”

In an ideal situation, we would all have a manager that we gel with during office hours and can still grab a paloma with, but that’s not always the reality, and personalities can often clash in high-pressure environments. However, to trust your boss, Button-Lynham says you don’t necessarily have to like them. “I also don’t believe we need to fully and 100% trust them as a complete human, unless this is impacting the working environment or ability to do our role. It does help if you can fully connect to them on a human level, but I don’t think this is necessary to have a good and positive working relationship,” she adds.  

Of course, trust is a two-way street and it’s equally important that your superiors trust you. “If you don’t trust your boss, you might struggle to build a rapport with them, and if they’re also unsure about you as an individual, you may find yourself out of the loop or overlooked,” adds career happiness mentor Soma Ghosh.

The benefits of having a trusting boss are undeniable: it can lead to you being considered for more responsibility, allowing you to showcase additional skills and develop further. They can also advocate for you within the organisation, and having a trusting relationship with them means they are more likely to support your progression. The opportunity for open communication should also not be underestimated. “Being able to talk candidly with your boss about challenges, ideas and recommendations allows you to help positively shape your role and the team,” says Button-Lyndham. “It means frustrations get resolved more quickly and reduces stress, giving you more of a sense of purpose and sense of belonging.”

On the flip side, being questioned about your work, micro-managed or called out in front of your colleagues unnecessarily may be signs that your boss doesn’t trust you. However, there are steps you can take to repair or build trust if you feel like you don’t have it at work.

“If your boss doesn’t trust you, try to think about what has caused this scepticism,” says Ghosh. Did you cover up a mistake or leave early when you shouldn’t have? Have they received feedback from another team member that’s made them question your capabilities?” However, it may not always be through fault of your own: sometimes this lack of trust comes from their own insecurity or bias, without considering the impact on other people.

Before anything else, get an outsider opinion. “I recommend speaking to someone you trust in your team to understand their viewpoint,” says Button-Lynham. “Sometimes we make assumptions on behaviour and take things personally, which may not be the case. If this person reinforces your feelings, I always think the best way to tackle this is to have an open and honest conversation with your boss.”

When you do sit down with them, be sure to share your perspective in a calm way, giving examples to back their behaviour up as well as explaining the impact. Only then can you start to talk about what you would like to see change. This may feel like a scary thing to do, but it should have a positive impact,” she adds.

According to Ghosh, another surefire way to build managerial trust is to ask them questions and for their input when you need it. “Not only will this appeal to their ego a little bit, it will allow them to see you are putting in the effort to grow a strong working relationship,” she explains.

Finally, if you’re looking to be taken more seriously within your role, Ghosh advises coming up with an idea during a one-to-one or group meeting to demonstrate that you’re a team player or are capable of thinking outside the box. “If you initiate some responsibility, they will not only see how dedicated you are to the role, but they might also witness something they may not have expected – which can help change their opinion of you.”

Images: Getty