“I’m leaving my job in a month, and I’m worried about what I’ll be tempted to say in the exit interview. I’ve had quite a few problems in the role, including micromanagement, clear favouritism against me and bad communication. How can I express this without burning my bridges?”

Exit interviews need to be handled with as much care and preparation as any job interview. If a company is well managed, two-way feedback between boss and staff should be an ongoing part of daily work life and not simply left to the point of someone leaving the business. Regular appraisals plus several informal opportunities for staff to offer an opinion are what good leaders want. An exit interview should be the last but by no means only space where suggestions are offered. If a company doesn’t practise this way of working but insists on an exit interview anyway then, I’m afraid, it probably means that it’s merely a tick-box exercise and a waste of the leaver’s time.

Because you feel you have not been well managed by your soon-to-be former bosses, you’re probably tempted to approach your exit conversation with all guns blazing, determined to get all your irks and moans off your chest. My advice? Don’t do it.

Although you’re probably moving to a better job, this current employer can still influence your future whether you like it or not. If you use the exit interview as a rant, you risk getting a negative reputation. Even if you don’t need a reference from this company right now, the chances are you will do at some point. Also, any one of your managers could move on later and you might meet them in another job context down the line.

It’s worth pausing for a moment to examine the reasons you might want to spout off. Is it for the good of the remaining employees or just because you want to get your own back at someone who made your life a misery? Neither of these are sensible justifications for lashing out. If your bosses did not seek your opinions when you were a fully engaged staff member, they’re even less interested now you’re leaving. Managers may say they want your constructive criticism but they won’t appreciate feedback that hints at bitterness from a disgruntled ex. The chances of anything improving as a result of your critique are minuscule. And if your complaint includes alleged favouritism, it could just as easily be interpreted as colleague-envy rather than useful intel.

As you’re moving on to pastures fresh, you’d be wise to comment only in a way that can be interpreted as helpful. This is an opportunity to offer ideas you might have about improving the poor communication you experienced. Keep your points unemotional and factual and focus on systemic problems rather than any personnel that may be at fault. This will allow your company to think of you as a force for good and someone whose departure is regrettable. It also means that you will have made constructive criticism without burning any bridges with a network you may encounter in later years.

The aim should be for you to leave this job with grace and professionalism that will stand you in good stead in later years rather than coming back to bite you in unexpected ways. It’s a bit like leaving a party you haven’t really enjoyed: the last person who needs to know is the host. Much better to be remembered as the gracious guest who should definitely be invited back.

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